back to basics

2012-02-16T13:57:00.003+08:00

life is hard.

anyway, my bro is v agitated now because of some intense hatred he has for his officer and singapore's army as a whole.

i guess in some sense its ridiculous, cause this is army after all. but accounting the fact that they sent him into tt unit in the first place displeases me so i'm standing on his side for this. even i will be pissed.

this reminds me of my j1 yr when i really wanted to get into swim exco or even be polo captain. i was so sure i would get in, partly because some running for the exco were, in my eyes, not suitable. but wahla, look what happened. those tt i thought would nv stand a chance, got to the highest position-.- life is unfair. even though i tried my best to continue giving my all for swim, it wasnt the same anymore. it was more of the 'im-doing-this-so-i-dont-seem-like-a-douche-tt-quits-just-because-i-didnt-get-the-position-i-want' and i kinda wanted the teachers to regret the choice they made.

im selfish i know.

at least i played polo because of passion and i really enjoyed it, unlike swim.

so its kinda like the same situation because i was almost so sure tt he would get somewhere far in army but i got a nasty shock when they posted him to be a driver, which i think is heavily factored by his inability to do road march and thus highly unfair. cmon, he finished his final road march, which is what matters right? if he cant finish his 12km march but can complete his 24km march i think tt says something. and its cause of his back condition for goodness sake.

anyway, i tried to be positive. i tried, really. i told him tt maybe its better this way. i mean, think of all the things tt might have gone wrong in ocs! like dying while pushing yourself too hard for example0.0

but anyway, his officers arent the nicest ppl arnd so it's making his time in army worse.

now he's talking abt migrating, just to get out of army. well, i kinda understand, i wouldnt want two yrs stuck with those ppl either. so, after considering what i could say to comfort him, i told him to wait for my results to come out. if i cant make it to a local uni course, ill be looking at overseas uni and he can decide then. surprisingly, he agreed. seems like he's really set on migrating/leaving sg. it'll be a blow for my parents though, considering the money they'll have to spent of us overseas plus being unable to see us frequently:/

so if things go as planned, although i do foresee some major hiccups, i may be gg overseas to study w my brother. i'm kinda scared though. i really dont think things will go smoothly:///

but then again i dont want to go overseas just for the sake of being there with my bro, although i am fully capable of making the choice to do so.

argh just so confused and worried.

2012-02-16T02:09:00.000+08:00

i have this huge urge to go into self pity again.

damn

2012-02-09T11:55:00.001+08:00

Had the first lesson w a new tutee. After teaching her, I feel extremely blessed. Most of us take psle for granted, saying tt it's so easy to do well, let alone passing. But this tutee struggled w psch and it's really bad. So I'm supposed to teach her how to manage her money, read the time etc.
I feel so tempted to tell her mom I can't but it'll go against my belief. A teacher shouldn't choose students. The students will choose the teacher.
Challenging..

That aside, had a crazy moment when I agreed to wake up at 6 just to eat breakfast w my working friend-.- had a huge swensens breakfast with my friend sponsoring half the cost:)
Then, had an impromptu moment when I decided to accompany my friend to bbdc for her evaluation and to town to look for a wallet for her bf.
SO I HAVE FINALLY BOOKED A TEST DATE:D unfortunately there weren't many options available so I chose a Friday, 6.45pm. And I end work at 630pm:// hopefully the new boss will be merciful!

Went to orchard and we walked for ages. After seeing so many wallets in one day, I realized tt I don't really like those branded wallets. I rather guys carry a fossil wallet. It's more rugged and gives a rustic feel. It feels .. young:)

So anyway, while we were at fossil, I saw this bag tt I fell in love with! Unfortunately it was $449 cause it's entirely made of leather:( than I saw another tt was just as cool and it was $200 cheaper cause it's made of cloth! HAHAH OH YEAH!
My mum is meeting me at orchard so hopefully she likes it too and will be willing to pay hahah. Sneaky.

Feel like getting my bro something since a got my pay.. What's gd to get a guy?

2012-02-04T12:20:00.001+08:00

Yay I'm done w my first job:D although I did struggle a bit, especially w all the excel formula but I think I did relatively well for someone new:p and the boss wants me to go back to do book keeping again few months later:) it's not tt I'm gd, he just doesn't want to explain everything all over again hahah. He asked me to take leave from the exhibition job to come back hahah.

Thanks to cynthia and lisa, I had the discipline to run 3 times this wk:) accomplished! I feel fitter alr:D had a good time catching up w cynthia after our run on friday. She was nice enough to wait for me to bathe and accompany me for dinner although she had dinner at home:) although we sat arnd talking nonsense and childish stuff but i'm glad we finally managed to catch up!:))

Clan dinner again later._. cny seems especially draggy this yr. But it's all good, we cous should try to meet up more now seeing tt we only meet this time of the yr.
I enjoy talking to some of my older cousins:) they give me gd perspectives.

Hilda is coming over later:) quite sure I'll be at the basketball court tonight hahah.

I wish I can start the march job earlier and end earlier..

2012-01-26T10:00:00.001+08:00

I finally understand the dread to work. Usually ppl say tt working is worse, but I think there's no difference, it's just as bad.

Had a tough day trying to figure out bank satements yesterday, hopefully today will go on smoothly. They should have hired someone w experience, or someone from poly. Poly students will have been taught accounting first hand. For someone like me who doesn't know what the heck is gg on is just wasting the opportunity.

I wonder if it's better to take a lower-pay, stress-free job. Waking up at 9 is alr a feat, how am I gg to start work at 830 next time0.0 hopefully this job will help to prepare me for the other job..

For now I'm just gg to try to hang in there for 2 wks. Jy to me!

2012-01-21T18:57:00.001+08:00

The pathetic moment when your relatives openly praise your smart cousin and you feel so freaking stupid. Damn.
It's worse when one sibling is smart and the other is not tt smart. Sighhh.
Siblings shouldn't differ tt much it's bad

2012-01-13T01:33:00.001+08:00

My bro is back!!:)))
And he brought back alot of gifts for me:D an angry bird card game, domokun stickers, piggy socks, peach scenty-thingy for my cardboard and a blouse:DD
I feel all fuzzy and loved hahaha. This is the first time my bro actually bought stuff for me!:D
It seems as if I got some Christmas gifts late^^
I don't know if it's NS, but I definitely appreciate my bro more. Maybe it's got to do w the fact tt you don't see him everyday. Although we still argue and all but hey, who doesn't^^
I really love my family:)

On the not so bright side, the interview was ok but ah well I didn't really feel comfortable abt it.
Sigh don't want to talk abt it. Such a failure..

I'm just glad my bro's back for now:) come to think of it, my bro is the only one who knows my deepest darkest secrets and nv brought it up again. It's as if he doesn't know! He acts like he doesn't know, how sweet:)
I feel all bubbly inside. We may not be rich but definitely blessed:)

2012 feels better now^^

2012-01-12T02:29:00.001+08:00

Damn whenever I think abt our finances I wanna faint.
It's not tt my family is poor. But we're not rich and can definitely feel the strain:/
My mum told me once when I was young, she had to take all the small change in the house and change it for a note, just to put it in my dad's wallet so tt he can eat at work;(
Of course, we're better off now and tt's something to be thankful for.
I don't need pity I just want somebody, anybody, to listen w/o feeling sympathy. I just need to get it off.

I really need the job tmr.
And I think I'll put off my driving stuff for another time. Who's gg to pay for my lessons and tests and what not.
Although I know it's not true, but at times like this I really envy those rich ppl who have it gd.
They shop like crazy, go on holidays as if plane tickets are nth, go home to a huge house with maids serving them. Now I sound like some materialistic freak:/

Guess tt's not entirely true though. The day of my bro's pop really reminded me how much I love my family. I have these wonderful ppl tt I can joke arnd w and enjoy their company. We have clashes but ah well, it's part of building bonds:)

Temptations temptations..

2012-01-09T22:23:00.001+08:00

I'm soooo worried abt results:(
And my relatives have such high expectations gosh.

Anyway I got the call from the agent so I'm gg to meet the supervisor for the Singapore exhibition services job. I hope I get the job!
Oh and I have another potential sec1 student. The mum wants a 'friend'. Hahah what's w parents these day? I'll try my best but they can't BUY friends for their kids! Then again, I may not get the job:p

Went for my bro's pop and it was relatively interesting:) even the songs were so cute! Hahaha. Oh except during the interlude(sp?) they played 'home' and it felt like ndp HAHA

We arrived an hour early cause we got the time wrong-.- anyway, when the wind blew, we could smell them when they marched past! From the stands! And we won't even at the front row!

At night I followed them to the airport in slippers and fbts hahaha. Send my bro and his gf off to hongkong:)

Hahah a funny thing tt happened. I was in the room with Hilda and my bro. I was laughing. Hilda was like:'what's that [sound]'
HAHAH

2012-01-07T01:14:00.002+08:00

so i'm the only slacker/loser w/o a job:(
i've been trying to send in job applications, only one called back.
its a position for an events adminstrator. went to meet the agent, the job sounds really cool.
she said she'll get back to meet latest vy next wk but i'm all anxious tt one day passed and i havent got the call:(
now i'm contemplating gg for the uss job instead. damnnnn.
anyway, the agency tt i went to was so much better than the previous one. the agent was actually the manager of the company. although she made me wait for practically half an hour before she showed up, she bothered to listen more abt me and get to know me better.
my mum accompanied me to bugis tt day. how nice:) she had to get some stuff for the hamper wrapping anyway.
my mum wraps hampers every new yr for my uncle's company.

came back to cck for a haircut. while waiting for my appointment we went shopping in lot1 hahaha.
eh i bought a new dress:D how weird. but it was nice and i really liked it:x

bro's passing out parade later in the morn.
hopefully it wont be too hot in marina bay.

sighhhhh. i just had polo training this morn but i feel like playing polo again.
its nice to fight it out in a game:)
i've been hanging out with the ntu hall guys a little and now i'm tempted to take an easy path and go to ntu:p
probably take mass com? but what do i do w a mass com degree after uni?
maybe i should take engineering. i'll still be able to study math, it'll help if i become a teacher:/

for the meantime, i'm FREAKING WORRIED abt results..
and i really need a job:(

Into the ocean

2011-12-31T04:22:00.001+08:00

Yesterday I charged my old mp3, the one my parents gave me for my bday few yrs back. I still remember that day:) my mum said something abt the ancient mp3 I got from my cous that can load 20 songs. Hahah I really loved it. I got a little annoyed tt she didn't like it hahaha. Later tt day we celebrated w a cartoon cake from polar and I got my new mp3!:)

Listening to all the songs inside gives me a funny feeling. Feels a thousand miles away. You know how certain periods of your life you listen to different songs? I feel young again. Young and stupid. It's the period of my life tt I really really don't wish to remember..

Then again, I made a stupid mistake yesterday. My friend called but I refused to leave the house. Tt's just stupid. Ah well. The feeling felt so familiar I was afraid. Different ppl, same situation.
Don't do this to me.

I hate how I'll nv be able it stained me. How I'll nv have the courage to tell anyway. How I still hate picking up calls.

Let the rain of what I feel right now come down.

2011-12-13T22:18:00.001+08:00

Guess what! I just pierced my ear today!! Hahah and those who said it doesn't hurt were lying. If it wasn't the image tt I needed to keep I would have screamed0.0 ok maybe not scream, I'll prob grab something, or give up after the first pierce:p
But I just stood there with the heh-this-is-nth look hahaha.

Went to give tuition today. First lesson w this girl. Sec1, gg through the I'm-a-rebel period. She didn't have anything. No paper no pen no calculator-.- luckily I bought the book if not we would have stared at each other for 2 hrs.
I kinda wish I charged more. It's only 15/hr now. But I panicked when her mum called, I wasn't even expecting it so I just said 120 for 2 hours per lesson. When it should have been 1.5 hours.. Sighhh see lah, nv think.
But oh well, it's a gd challenge. And well, 15/hr is still gd pay. Now I just need to find more students.

Anyway, on my way home I sat at the seat tt faces the rest of the bus, the elderly seat yknow. And so I wore the earpiece and played the song w/o plugging it into my phone0.0 omgosh and I took 5 seconds to wonder why the sound was so muffled before I realised it was blasting just tt I didn't plug it in
So for the next one min I couldn't stop laughing/smiling at myself I must have looked like an idiot:((

Will I get ear infection if I swim tmr?://

2011-12-10T01:59:00.001+08:00

For those who didn't know, I wore my first pair of heels on wed! For post prom. Well, I didn't know what to wear actually cause we weren't gg for prom, only the post prom party.

It was ok I guess. Helipad has a nice open area. Just tt their actual clubbing space is quite small. According to my other sch friends tt crashed the party, it wasn't gd. But oh well, it was my first clubbing experience anyway.

So we drank quite a bit. While my friend was puking some of us were like 'oh this is so boring' hahaha. Some stuff to take note though.
1) I won't wear heels to clubs anyway. The shoes were actually quite comfortable but I walked in them for so long I started having blisters:(
2) I won't wear a dress. You can hardly dance in a dress. Well actually not like there's much space to dance in the first place. Wear comfortable stuff to move to the groove~
3) choose a better club. With better songs.
4) go on Wednesdays. It's ladies night. Either free entry or free flow of drinks:)

Went for polo training today. Omgosh I swim so slowly now:( I usually swim faster than wilma, but I can't even keep up w her now:(( saddening. But other than the swimming part, I was relatively ok for the game:) didn't totally lose it:D

Went for lunch at clementi w the whole bunch of ntu guys. Stole ray's cigarettes. Hahah what's new. We guessed the order of ppl he would blame and we were right. Blame me first, than Wilma, than shar hahaha.

Came home to slp:p I slept at 4 the night before and woke up at 630! Shar's call woke me up. Apparently Ray was looking for me and he thought I was pissed because I didn't reply him and didn't ans his call. Hahah I was just slping:p

Went to accompany him than bused to hazel park for the swim/polo farewell. The teacher was concerned because the grp of us (polo girls) were quite segregated. Were kinda forced to sit in the function room hahahha. Ate and played some games, super noisy:) had some farewell gifts:)) so nice of the jnrs to bother writing for each of us. Had sticky sweets, muffins, and a cactus-.- joc kept nudging me and the soil kept dropping hahahah.
Really miss all of them. And all the trainings we did tgt:) although there were only 5 of us today but it was still really fun!

If I can turn back time, there will be two periods of my life tt i will want to re-live. The sec1-2 period and my polo days. I'm not saying tt life isn't gd now. In fact I think there are some stuff tt I really appreciate. I'm definitely more mature than I was in sec 1. But those short periods of my life were really the highlight.

Talking abt highlight, Ray and joc had an interesting convo today. Ray was telling us that he had a lot of 'f***ing modules' to take. We got turned off by his choice of words so joc said that he should use other words. Ray said that the word allows emphasis, like underlining the words. So joc, being the amusing person she is, said tt he should shout the word he wants to emphasize instead. Naturally, she gave an example. 'I have to take alot of MODULES.' HAHAH and as if tt wasn't funny enough, she totally shouted the wrong word. It should be 'I have to take ALOT of modules.'
HAHAHA JOKE.

Sigh.. Can't keep looking back..

2011-11-21T09:50:00.001+08:00

I had the 'results' dream last night. Or should I say this morning.
Not good though. If I didn't remember wrongly I failed gp. 2As, 1B, 1C 0.0
How am I gg to enjoy e hols if such thoughts keep haunting me:(

2011-11-19T23:19:00.001+08:00

Want to watch breaking dawn? Watch tmr it morning.
HAHAHA

So I was playing kartrider with my bro and his gf. He was e one who created e game. After one minute I still couldn't connect. So I asked him if e switched on e bluetooth. 'eh I thought I on alr' was what he said. Hahaha so I called him an idiot. He turned to his gf and said 'you better on your bluetooth'. HAHAH jokeeee.

2011-11-16T11:21:00.001+08:00

(edit)
I met a really nice guy today:p he's my neighbour at the other side of the lift lobby. Ok before you get the wrong idea, he's e type of guy tt is freaking polite. He'll be the one pressing e buttons in the lift, motion you with a hand to exit first with a smile. Hahaha rare right? Even I don't do tt:p so I saw him walking back to the block, he was in front of me. Quite obviously a j2 since econs paper just ended. So being e antisocial being I am, I told myself I'll talk to him if we happen to be in e same lift. Hahah guess what happened. He was walking in front of me remember, so he went to the lift at the further end. Although I was alr at the lobby I waited for his lift to go up first before taking the other lift up HAHAH. So much for talking:p but anyway, I stepped out of the lift and guess what. I realized he stays at the same floor-.- so just as I was abt to walk right past him (!! I swear I considered talking) he spoke to me first! Hahaha so nice right. So yup we talked abit. Found out his name is zack. And he wanted to ask my to go to sch tgt, just as he realized tt we were in diff schs:p HAHAH I swear he's too polite for his own good. Soooo I went back home and was so flustered tt I left my shoes outside oops:pp
End of story about a gentleman.
Back to geog
(/edit)

I'm damn screwed for econs.
Freaking screwed up paper 1.
Doubt I can pass this paper
Argh and I'll spent my holiday worrying abt stupid results
Thought e rest were bad but it was really e worst paper yet.
Don't wanna spend e rest of my time worrying. God pls help me w the rest of the paper. Esp for geog tmr. And physics p3 and p1. And econs p2 to pull up my grade

2011-11-12T20:12:00.001+08:00

Math p1 was bad. At least p2 was better. But still have some qns tt I'm unsure of..
After p2 some of my friends were complaning abt e marks they lost. So naturally I tuned out. It's not tt I don't care, I tried to tell her to focus on others since it's alr over. After a while I realised she was complaining because she lost 6 marks-.-
Seriously?
Oh well.

But afterall if I don't do well for As it's really my own problem. I should have studied earlier.

So to those out there who are struggling, let's just try our best for e rest. Who knows, a miracle may be round e corner.

2011-11-09T16:28:00.001+08:00

Short post before I go back to math
Gp was okkk today. I'm not confident for gp but it seemed better. Hopefully I answered the question.
Really lucky cause sx gave me a stack of compos. And out of the 8 compos I chose 3 to kinda memorize. In the end the democracy vs effective government was exactly the same question0.0
I did the env question though cause I was more confident for tt but I'm not sure if I answered the question:///
Oh well, put it behind me.
Math tmr
Of all the subjects, I really want to do well for math..
Let's hope for e best!

Oh and it Mandy's bday yesterday. Since we couldn't celebrate due to As, I invited her bf over to wait outside the hall after the second gp paper hahhaa.
Awww<3
Although it was really simple; small cake, balloon, a bday song, but I hope she enjoyed herself:)
And as expected, both of them went for lunch hahaha.
What happened to the bf's internship? Ummm hahhaa.

Mathmathmath

Eyes wide shut

2011-10-22T01:21:00.001+08:00

I'm confused. If God knew what was gg to happen, why let it happen in e first place? If He knew tt ppl were gg to sin, why create Adam and eve? If He knows e choices we're gg to make, why not just fast forward everything to the end?
I'm not questioning the existence of God, I'm curious abt the way life runs.
And I don't get why He can't just force everyone to believe since tt will save a ton of ppl.

I'm so slpy but I haven't done anything and omgosh geog tuition tmr morn:(

I finally realized why I like staying at home. I hate how we need to care abt what others think when we're out. It's ok to be lonely at home. But it's not ok to be lonely outside. Especially w ppl watching. And the worst part is when they look at you w those eyes that question if you have friends and you know they're right. You don't. It's totally fine if it's not true but it seems to be the case for me and thus it affects me more.

Heh. I know I scared you for a moment.
I'm joking. Of course I have friends!
The imaginary ones.

Mesaged you today and it really bothers me tt I kept waiting by my phone. And when you do reply, I feel the need to end the conversation quickly and not seem so sticky.
Life sucks.
But than again, if life doesn't suck we'll all fall off.

No longer believe in bestfriends. Its childish. We're old enough to know tt it's not possible. I believe in mature friendships though. Those tt require little time tgt, but are still able to talk. These are the ppl you rely on in times of need.
And I guess that's what keeps ppl gg. So that they are able to support what they love or ppl they love.

Who motivates you today?

2011-10-21T12:24:00.001+08:00

Recently I read a blog abt this little girl that was struggling w cancer. E rare type that causes her to be unable to breathe, to have tumors popping out (literally) and bleeding.. She just passed away after fighting w tt deadly disease for 2 yrs plus:( life is unfair. Why would a little girl deserve tt? And her poor brother who cannot stop weeping for his lost of a younger sister, what would he grow up to think? Would he be able to let go?
Appreciate life, it's a privilege, not a guarantee.
The more you cling on, the faster you lose it.

Conflicted

2011-10-14T23:34:00.001+08:00

Trying to tell myself tt it's not gg to affect me.
Trying not to expect or hope.
While it's killing me inside, you probably don't feel anything.

Everybody has ppl they look up to. I really look up to pris. She's different, always bringing warmth, radiating postive aura hahaha.
She's leaving tmr and to be honest, I'll miss her.
But some things are not meant to be said directly.

Don't expect so much. I'm really not as smart/disciplined/good as you think. I have deep dark secrets that I'm ashamed of.
It's weird how I don't care tt you're gone. Let's not meet again. Even coincidentally.

I feel bad because I always thought you didn't care. It surprised me tt you were e one who helped me ask around when I thought it was e higher ups.

Wow I just mysteriously talked abt so many ppl hahaha.

Omg As in less than 4 wks



2011-10-07T17:13:00.001+08:00

I just downloaded emoji into my phone and it's freakishly cute!!


HAHAHAH


And (!!) omg look at this, e famous cheekopei face!! 
Always though emoticons were a little lame. Like an unexpected blob of yellow that doesn't fit with the all so formal font of the phone. But I didn't know they had so many cool pics other than yellow blobs of funny faces hahaha.

Im gonna do gp!
Discuss the importance of religion in society today.
Ohhh did you know tt osama was actually also v concerned abt e environment? He was angry tt America didn't sign e Kyoto protocol.
But then again, it may be because he hates Americans and was just trying to pick on them.
Oh and he hates music. 'flute of the devil' apparently.

07737

2011-10-04T14:36:00.001+08:00

Life's been pretty hectic.
For one, I had another near death experience. This time it was closer. I'm not sure if I blogged abt my previous car accident last yr, but I just got into another car accident.

This time, I was my a grp of friends and we crashed in front. The previous time a motorbike crashed from behind. So I was sitting in front, since I was alighting e last. We were talking abt final destination and within 1-5mins we crashed0.0

There's two things you do when you see e orange light. 1)slow down 2)accelerate. My friend thought the car in front was gg ahead so she accelerated. But he decided to stop, probably because he saw the red light camera.

I didn't even have time to think. Hahaha. It was my first airbag experience:p it gave me bruises and broke dented my specs. Caused e lense to drop out when e nylon snapped.

But other than my broken specs and some neckaches, everything was fine. Well technically not everything was fine but thank God everybody was fine. Apparently the car crashed quite bad so abt 20k is involved:/ feel kinda bad:///

At least I've learnt to appreciate life more. Another friend in e car said she wants to marry now HAHAH. Oh and cause she was sitting behind me, she said she wanted to reach out to pull mr back but it was too late. Awwww, how touching:p

Ok end of recount.
Back to geog.
Oh btw e title is suppose to spell 'hello' HAHAH

Can't give up now

2011-09-27T19:35:00.001+08:00

I just realized how bad blogging is.
For one, I'm leaving all e bad memories behind since I'm ranting so much here.
So I've decided to write my complains on e sand downstairs and blog abt happy stuff instead:D ok I was joking abt e sand.

So anyway, I didn't do v well for prelims. Or rather, I did quite badly. But it's ok. I'm gg to do my best from now on and leave e rest to God.
If I can't even encourage myself, who will?
And I know God has been really merciful to me so He'll definitely give me results to take the path tt'll be best for me.
I've been to dependent on myself, which obviously didn't work out.

Reality vs aiming high. I'll aim high and just hope for e best.
Gambatte!

Till I see you again

2011-09-25T21:01:00.001+08:00

Woahhh had a really cool day with zan today:)
Although I didn't really study much. Did physics and gp. Zan helped me w my gp. She has some cool perspective of the questions that I should learn!
Went for dinner at lot1. Sat outside some random post office and ate. And talked:) I really thank God tt zan is in e same church as me. If not we won't really keep in touch, considering how both of us are so lazy. Hahaha.

Do you have some things that you can't confess? Sometimes I wonder if I'm lying to myself or to others. But sometimes even e most trustworthy can't keep a secret. Don't tell anyone a secret w/o expecting them to say it out someday..
But no matter what, I hope tt someday I'll get to share it openly. That's when it's nth more than a closed wound, a scar.
Someone once told me tt when you can openly share something, means tt you've experienced closure. I wonder when tt will happen.

I know my brother can be really annoying at times, but I miss him alr:(

Move along

2011-09-24T21:59:00.001+08:00

Yayyy thanks to Amelia I got to know tt there's a blogger app.
Cool much.
I can't wait for my brother to get back. I want to touch his head again. He's hair feels like a doormat/grass.
So anyway, the Taiwanese girls moved out today. They found a cheaper place. Apparently their mum in Taiwan is struggling w finances and their father isn't helping so yup. I don't know if it's good that I wasn't so close to them so I don't feel tt upset or is it bad that they've been here for so long and I don't really know them.
Oh well. I really don't know what I'm doing w my life.
My prelims are so baddd and I think of all e ppl out there getting their As and Bs and I think I'm falling into depression. Hahaha.
Scholarship my foot.

meet me in the middle

2011-08-24T23:49:00.002+08:00

some ppl really annoy me.
blehhh.
its weird how after we argue with friends, the best way to make up is to apologize, ignore the awkwardness and just act normally.
only then, after a while, it gets better. no?

when everything's getting better, you had to continue to be awkward.
and make the divide even more obvious.
to think that you thought time will heal. cmon, who are you kidding.
we're no longer psch kids. we know tt time doesnt heal.
and the way others try to help you annoys me because hello it just makes it more freaking obvious.
you were the one who treasured everything the most. but now? you're unwilling to step out of your stupid comfort bubble and face the freaking truth.
loser. argh.

the worst part is thinking tt i was like you. selfish and blind and stupid. stupidstupidstupid.
dont lie. i was there, i know exactly whats gg on. dont say its not the same because you know how bad it was.
now i just feel sorry for all my friends who had to go through tt period of time w me. hopefully, i didnt annoy them as much as you annoy me.

anyway, i had to vent all this somewhere.
my mum's on fb so i've been avoiding being angsty there.
twitter is not a good choice since its where all the rubbish are.
oh well.

on the other hand, pris is leaving for israel soon. shes soooo blessed.
itll be a long 2 months. after all, i know tt shes someone impt to me and tt she really, truly, cares. hopefully.
'ppl dont care how much you know until they know how much you care' how true.

prelims are nearly over. last paper is on friday.
this prelims have been quite tough on me.
esp geog. its really the worst.
hopefully, papers that i felt was do-able, will produce gd enough results.
i dont think a scholarship is possible at this pt, but i'm really hoping for something better than average.

today i sat down and thought through my plans.
and i realized i really dont know where i'm heading.
everything's just a 'maybe', a possibility. nothing concrete. nothing to look forward to, nothing to aim for. i dont even know what i want to do, how can i aim?
life can be such a chore sometimes.

its sad tt i have ppl in my life tt dont mean anything to me.
i dont know whats hindering us but i guess you were always like tt.
you give me the 'superficial' feeling. its as if you just talk for the sake of talking.
ive seen the way you communicate w others. and its just different.
ive been dying to ask you why you're acting the way you do, but i guess i better shut up. maybe if we had our roles reversed, it'll still be the same sad story.
i wish the line drawn was more clearly. tt way i dont have to face you all the time and try to start a conversation.
nonetheless, i'm glad the feeling is mutual. i dont enjoy talking to you too.

argh. i'm sry i keep complaining>:(
sadly, i've invested in the wrong ppl..

2011-07-10T21:27:00.002+08:00

jayesslee came to my church yesterday.
they have a beautiful voice. and a really gd testimony too ahhaa.

went for methodist walk before tt.
cabbed down w two of my classmates in the wee hours of the morning because they wanted us to be in sch by 630 and gosh, even if we took the first train, we may not reach in time.
its stupid anyway cause the event only started like 1h later-.-
the taxi driver was rushing to pick another customer so he was driving like crazyyy.
we hoped for a nice tshirt.
but wahla, it was freaking ugly AND stinky.
waited for all the talking to stop, finally(!) we started the walk.
we decided tt it would take too long to walk. so we slow jogged/walked.
ended up being the first students to finish it and we had the whole milo truck to ourselves:D
cooled down at the gym, bathed and went home.

went for my cous' 21 bday buffet at chillipadi.
some ulu buffet in nus.
not a v gd spread, but it's cheap and the food's not bad.
got to be able to take spicy stuff though.
as the name suggests, most of the food is spicy:)

went for svr. pastor tan preached.
pastor tan's sermons is always boring in the beginning, but picks up at the end.
he tends to read into things tt i nv noticed, which is gd.
but i was falling asleep (like last wk:p) and i think it was quite obvious cause alice passed me a choc:p
well at least i was awake after tt hahhaa.

um some weird things happened though.
i'm gg to leave it as it is and try not to read too much into it.

i feel like history's repeating itself.
is it because i didnt have a proper closure?
i really need to stop thinking abt it.

not really looking forward to sch.
have a geog test on tues:((((
sch's a chore.

2011-07-02T23:07:00.002+08:00

i wish there was someone i can talk to, to let me pour out all my thoughts, my problems.
i wish i knew if you're genuinely interested.
i wish you probed for more, but at the same time, it was so awkward i didnt want to say more.
i wish you understood how confused i felt.
i wish i wasnt so reliant on you. its sick.
i wish you didnt start showing so much concern now i just want to talk to you so badly.
i wish i didnt crave for your attention.
gosh, its been a long week.

what i dont deserve

2011-06-26T22:16:00.003+08:00

siannnn
school sucks.
cant believe its starting alr:(
its all out now till As end.
crapzzzzz. should have gone to poly. gone overseas. gone somewhere else but jc:(

went for service this morning w pris.
gosh, it was hard to get up!
didnt get much slp although the weather was nice and the room was all mine.
my bro went for a chalet.
surprising actually. i thought he wasnt the type to go for such stuff.
but for all you know, they played their computer games 2 days straight in the chalet.

results will be out this wk.
i guess it'll be like pris said, a wake up call.
i dont think i can pass..

i need geog tuition.
tt's my number one concern now.

had my first drunk experience yesterday hahhah0.0
at least i didnt puke on anyone.

2011-06-16T02:12:00.001+08:00

a frozen line, a single tear
its harder than i ever feared
and you were left feeling so alone
because these days arent easy
like they have been once before
these days arent easy anymore

why by secondhand serenade

rumor has it

2011-06-16T00:00:00.003+08:00

think i'm falling sick:(
sniff
i have this pimple on the bottom of my eyelid:(
wth right. i know. i'm hoping its not some infection.

my body clock is screwed:(
havent been studying:(
life sucks:(

i think ellen is funny.
i used to think shes annoying.
but shes kinda funny in her own way:)

have a polo friendly w nus tmr!
exciting!
hopefully i wont be so unfit:/

kbye

2011-06-03T15:26:00.002+08:00

i wish christmas will come quick.
all the joy and peace. well, its not really true though.
disasters happen during christmas season too.

i want to go overseas. somewhere with really rich christmas celebrations.
i just want to leave boring old sg for somewhere far away.
well, i've got to wait 6 more months for tt.

will probably be gg hongkong and taiwan this yr end.
its not confirmed yet though.

i kinda want to go somewhere with lots of snow but its not for me to choose.
and it'll probably cause a bomb too.

i want to try getting drunk.

watched too many movies. obviously.

2011-05-27T21:59:00.002+08:00

mid years are over.
i'm quite sure my results are screwed.
math was bad. i should have practised more questions.
econs was terrible gosh. we had to write 3 essays. (part a and b)
totally didnt know what points to write at all:(
physics was tough. but everyone felt tt it was tough so its not tt bad right?
and the day before my exams i studied like crap.
oh and it was the first time i went on w/o slping for more than 24hours!
it was terrible though, my head was throbbing.

day before physics i went to watch adiv netball finals.
it was a close fight, but ac won:D
champs for 3 yrs in a row!
last yr the team was much stronger, thrasing hci with more than double the score in e finals.
this yr it was a really close fight with rj, winning by 2 points only.
they were leading throughout, but only by a few points.

after our last paper some of us went to daily scoop in hollandv to eat icecream.
i dont get how ppl find tt place.
its like hidden inside and beside private houses.
the shops there are quite cool, and expensive.
they sell exotic food there hahhaa.
we were supposed to kill time to wait for dionne, who had her lit paper in e afternoon.
than go to mandy's house to play wii.
but i received a call from ray, asking me to accompany him for lunch-.-
so i went to meet him first while the rest of my friends continue galvanting in hv ahahha

while he was eating he told me some big news and omg i nearly died.
i just wish he'll start living properly.

after he left for nus to train i met up with the rest again.
after much discussion we decided to crash esther's house instead to watch movie!
hahhah we watch rapunzel (mine 4/5 time) it was super funny cause i knew the lines alr.

left for home and watched two more movies. house bunny and how to lose a guy in 10 days.
hahaha unlike the stupid titles, the shows were actually quite funny:p
ok i'm gg to continue slacking. will start studying tmr!

oh listen to youre so vain and new soul. nice songs:D

2011-05-06T23:49:00.001+08:00

overwhelming..
i wish i have some slping pills or something.
slping isnt a prob for me, its just the thinking.

if only we can stop our thoughts.

2011-04-28T21:22:00.002+08:00

swimming is over!
finals was on tuesday.
had 2 races, 200m free and 200im.

for 200m free it was a joke.
background info abt swim: when they say 'take your mark... go', you cant move. not an inch.
so yup, you guessed it, my right hand spasmed.
hahhah so i was disqualified for tt race.
i'm quite happy with the timing though, hit my best timing.
and for the first lap i completed it in 35.78secs, which is my best timing yet:)
overall i hit 3mins, came in 7th.

200im was the usual, nerve wrecking.
7th still.
3 min 24sec, abt 4 sec improvement from my heat so its all gd
a gd end to my swimming career ahhaha.

so i guess tt's abt it for now.
i'll still go and help out w polo but tt's abt it.
cant go back to help in swim if the jnrs are all so pro hahhaa.

totally screwed up my geog test today.
gosh i hate geog

2011-04-23T16:09:00.002+08:00

gosh i cant believe it took me so long to watch eclipse!
its the best out of the few twilight saga movies.
twilight was horrible. new moon was ok.. but eclipse is the best!
this is unlike the usual trend of movies where it just gets worse.
for example: harry potter.
hopefully the last movie will be gd.
to make up for all the lousy ones so far.

went for service with my parents yesterday.
the drama was gd, same old same old.
i guess to new comers it'll be v nice hahah.
i guess tt was how i felt when i watched it the first time.
but still, the drama was really gd, no flying angels this yr though ahhaha.

pris is leaving for america on sunday.
shes really lucky.
soon she'll be gg to israel for 3 months for an exchange.
its gd to be smart, clearly, it has benefits.

totally need to catch up on my work.
been lagging behind.
swim finals is on next wk.
hahhaha this is hard to believe but i got into 2 finals!
hahha its kinda not v fair but i guess i'm really blessed:p
was supposed to swim 400free and 200im but jim changed my 400 to 200 free.
and it just so happened tt 200 free is straight finals hahha, nobody expected tt.
200im had 9 ppl, so technically i only need to swim faster than one person to get in.
well, in the first heat, one person dq-ed so yup, 2 finals for me:)

kinda nerve wrecking though.
the feeling of standing there, scared.
and sports school really need to warm the pool.
its so freaking cold gosh i'm surprised its not ice.
i wonder if its because of the really tight competition cap or the too cold water, or both, tt caused me to be giddy when i swim.
well, anyway, tues is the big day.

its all or nothing.

2011-04-09T12:06:00.002+08:00

polo season is over:( unlike swim, polo is super bonded and i really enjoyed my short time spent training w e polo girls. we hardly trained for 3 months. prob only 2 months but it was a fantastic 2 months. all the times we went for friendly night matches with nus, sunday trainings in the hot afternoon in resort-like rp, all the times we spent eating at wahchee. gosh, i'll really miss this fun bunch of ppl. although we lost all our matches, i think for a sch tt trained for only 2 months we improved alot. even our teacher in charge was impressed. i kinda think tt its prob gd this way too. too much time tgt may have cause politics etc. but because it was such a short period of time, such things nv happened and friendships developed well. although swim is still my official cca, polo is what i'm passionate abt and definitely have piority over swim. thanks to polo i also met our coach, ray. he smokes and drinks and find women but has a nice heart. and is v gd at handson stuff. although he wasnt paid he still helped us everyday. literally everyday. even if it means skipping sch or quizs. although i have a feeling he wants to hahaha. in e end he still got paid, a little. although we didnt win anything, we made us each paper wallets (!!!) and gave us lightsticks and yoyos hahahha. childish but i like it this way. at least he acknowledges our effort and not look down on us. quite sad tt it ended.. well gd things have to come to an end so that it'll stay special in our hearts. most certainly, polo has found its way into my heart, i love my polo team:)

2011-03-09T13:16:00.003+08:00

wow its been some time since i posted

i realised tt everyone blogs lesser now.

is it because we're older and have better stuff to do? or is it because we're too busy fbing half the time:p

i must blog about my great finish w 10 yrs of struggling against chinese,

major milestone in my life, i'm super glad i got A:DDD plus, distinction for oral. hahhaha

in your faces! actually to think about it, i got distinction for oral for Os too hgahaha.

prob i'm not as bad as i think i am:p

hahhah i can be chinese teacher next time alr! muahahhaa.

nearly done with terms.

left with geog. argggg its one of my worst subjects. or rather, it is the worst.

i just cant seem to stay awake during geog lessons.

so for papers have been okkkk..

physics was unexpectedly easy. hopefully it'll be ok.

maths was tough:((

to think i was relatively confident of it the night before:(

concentrated too much on vectors, and only ONE vector question was tested.

plus there were TWO p&c questions. i give up on p&c.

and there were so many integration questions and my integration is so weakkk:((

crappppzzz.

i must at least pass two h2 and one h1 to not get into ssp.

ssp is time consuming and i cant afford to miss training!

everyone is gg overseas.

to study, to play..

my brother is gg to malaysia with his friends later this month.

good for him. i'll be stuck at home studying:(

i've been thinking abt gg overseas for uni.

but the prob is, i dont even know what i want to do!

i mean whats the point of gg overseas to study a course tt you can take in singapore that is just as good right?

my friend told me to think of what i like to do, or something i am interested in.

well, most of my dreams are quite unpractical. i want to be a radio deejay! but my languages are bad. (ok i take tt bad, i rock at chinese)

um, i dont mind working in nacli, or obs. although i really hated obs.

well if i get paid, i dont mind obs.

i know its kinda weird but i've been thinking abt trying for the girls' army after As.

hahhaha. 2000 a month. keep fit and get paid. not too bad a deal.

although period will be a problem:/

i can still give tuitions on wkends..

well, it is a possibility:)

but of course, i dont see my parents agreeing to it easily.

for now, i'm gg jogging.

hahhah joke. geoging.

when all seems dull

2011-01-11T21:56:00.002+08:00

went back to crescent for the release of O levels yesterday:D

it was relatively fun.

skipped chinese and left for crescent with dearest, spontaneous cynthia!

crescent did really well:D

and there were alot of parents.

they even carried like boards! hahah like those kind of boards tt ppl do for their idols.

there was this parent sitting beside me and she was talking to me, asking me what things meant and explaining how nervous she was for her kid.

i wonder how she did..

anyway, jrs diid well i'm so proud of them!

esp daoxin! i remember how she really struggled in sec 2 for her studies and now, all A1s!

juniper too. but tt's expected, she's so smart:)

well done deb and clare, 7 pts. well done well done!

i guess whatever results ppl get, they ought to know those results are not merely just a grade but rather a path tt they'll take.

rather saddening to see jc so upset..

much like cynthia, i'm not gd at comforting hahaha.

but i know she's gg to do well in poly just like cynthia!

after eating a little more in crescent, went back to sch for training and meeting hahha.

training was rather tiring. did more fly at one time.

had alot of ppl though! for the first time. cause of the compulsory meeting so everyone turned up for training hahha.

today we had physics spa.

mr wong, our form teacher kinda scolded us for ponning chinese.

only matt, councillor, went for the lesson.

apparently some classes were asked to sing chinese oldies, or watch movie-.-

mr wong said we had no valid reason for not gg for chinese. i told him there's no valid reason to have chinese.

so after arguing for a while he decided not to send us all to dc. hahhaha

yesterday we were supposed to go for dc because our whole maths class ponned the last lecture last yr.

but no one turned up. hahahha i was in crescent. and i bet the teachers cant be bothered too.

ac's open house tmr.

still remember when i visited last yr hahha.

oh man, its my last yr here!

better appreciate it before its gone.

alot of holiday homework to hand in!:(

resolutions

2011-01-05T00:50:00.002+08:00

its a new yr, 2011.
i've nv done new yr resolutions before.
thought about it but nv really kept to it and actually record it down.
but i totally see a need for it now. goal-less ppl arent getting anywhere.
so i posted one on facebook, but it's in a private grp with cellmates.
why not here?
anyway fb was screwing up so i ended up losing my original list.
i got fed up and the list got shorter and less funny:p
well since i have time, i'm gg to rewrite it here.

1) pass all my tests/ca. i secretly want to be in the top 15% of the sch.
2) stay awake during lectures and do my tutorials. geog lecture is really screwed for me, i hope this yr will be different
3) enter finals for my swim event(s). top 5 if God is willing:p
4) better, less superficial friendships. this yr i had a whole lot of superficial friendships. i hope to improve relationships and be more outgoing and friendly. talkative when needed to be.
5) not make promises i cannot keep.
6) no more vulgarities.
7) study smart. even through the hols. i have a really bad habit of slacking the holidays away.. cannot afford to do tt this yr.
8) spend more time with my family. quality time.
9) better time management. fb does not come before hmwk.
10) not be so angsty when i have to give tuition.
11) be nicer to the taiwanese girls. sigh.. ppl say i dont really care abt them. well prob i dont and tt needs to change.
12) not stay in the past. there are things tt i really ought to let go.
13) stop trying to be someone i'm not. have a better self esteem.

ok its not really resolutions anymore..
just starting to list all my weaknesses.

tt aside, i actually managed to get some wk done today.
^^^^yup cynthia do you see tt^^^^ i got work done!
hhahaha ok no need to brag abt it, i have alot more to go:(
training early tmr. lalaland~~

sweet serendipity

2010-12-26T17:14:00.003+08:00

yesterday was christmas!:)
christmas this yr is quite different.
for one, i'm not overseas. hahha
for some reason everybody is giving me nice christmas cards,
which i totally appreciate!
just tt i feel guilty for not giving out cards too.
next yr i promise!

yesterday i took the shuttle bus with jynnchee steffi regine wilson and alot more ppl to expo.
the ride was hot and stuffy but rather entertaining:)
drama is not as nice as the previous drama production but its still ok:)

oh and the failed canoeing meeting was rather fun.
only samlow zan clare(for a while) and myself.
everybody else pulled out last minute or suddenly refuse to reply us-.-
but we still had a lot of fun, in fact, i havent laughed so bad in a longlong time!
which is cool:D hhahah
we went to indulge to eat. clare joined us for a while:)
i'll miss her when she goes to canada!:(
went to ben&jerry's for a mix and match.
chocolate therapy, cookie dough and strawberry cheesecake.
it was gooooood:D hahaha with all the saliva essence.
and abs exercises cause we were laughing so bad hahhaa.

ok back to the christmas service.
i went for it again, this morn.
with juniper and trixy!! and other crescentians.
hahhaha crap i really missed them so bad!
such a nice feeling to crap with them all over again:)
too bad huiyi e princess is overseas! if not the qatari grp will be complete!
initially juniper booked a place at cedele to eat after service but we decided to join the cell for lunch at marina square instead:)
i psycho-ed them to eat claypot rice with me which was yummmm:D
juniper ate healthy stuff, as usual. we were not surprised.
after tt she had pear juice. which i managed to kid some ppl tt it was califlower blended. HAHHAHA.
besttt:D
they actually tried it and told tt it tasted like 'fruit' but believed that it was califlower hahahhaha. I AM THE BEST.

i dont want 2011 to come!
i'm still living in denial arghhh.
not being mean but i envy ppl who are retaining now..

what's december without christmas?

2010-12-21T13:32:00.002+08:00

totally screwed up arg.
went to arrange a gathering for the canoeists, on the same day as thanksgiving cell-.-
freak what the heck shiz.
and i agreed to go for exco dinner when i have chalet on that day-.-
as if tt wasnt enough.

another mood breaker this morning.
its weird how i'm still holding on to things that i should have let go.
and today it just came back to stab me.
tt's why they say tt ppl who are not finding it tend to get it.

and i cant believe there's a computer w/o adobe reader.
have to waste time downloading it now..

christmas is approaching:)
homewk is still scaring me.

training is still the same.
improving, yes.
satisfied? no.
i think tt's the prob with me, i'm nv satisfied when i should be.

i dont know how to express what i feel now.
i think confused will be apt.

aim low, so the crashing feeling wont be as bad.

where is the love?

2010-12-13T22:47:00.001+08:00

just a really really quick update:
i managed to hit 40secs ppl!!!:D
YAYYYY.

well tt day i was doing stroke correction so it was relatively slacky for me.
then, i decided to join the rest for the last 2 50m sprint.
and tada! i hit 40secs!
hhaha but tt's prob because i wasnt tired and all,
but its still an improvement!

i havent got pass graphing techniques for maths i'm gg to kill myself.

2010-12-06T13:32:00.002+08:00

i'm so sleepy..
training in the morn, wasnt as tough as usual.
or prob i was just slacking a little:p
cant seem to get any better than 43secs for my freestyle.
but we didnt plunge. hopefully when i've mastered plunging, my timing will improve:)

met my bro on the train.
he was gg to sch for some maths exam.
its the exams period for poly students right?
but he has been playing his com games all these while i didnt even know he was having exams.

on the train i was contemplating if i should buy coffee bread to eat.
i was soooo hungry!
although my house is less than a 5 min walk from the station, and my mum alr cooked, i still wanted to eat on the way home:D
hahha in the end i overcame my temptation.
ate this hugeeee bowl of noodles:DD satisfaction!
i decided that since i'm gg to train so much, i might as well try to eat more and gain weight.
so i have a new diet: eat when hungry.
sounds gd eh?:D

love like woe is playing on the radio!~~~
songs just sound better when its played on the radio.
feels like i've won a lottery! hahah ok i'm exaggerating.
but you get the idea:)

jim, my swim coach, is gg overseas on sat (!)
happieeeee, means training wont be so tough hahaha.
of all the ppl gg overseas, i'm kinda glad he is gg.
even though he is gg to korea:(
hahha i'm getting lazy:(

have a few aims for myself by the end of yr!
1) pull ups! at least 2:)
2) run fasterrrr. totally need to run more.
3) break the 43secs best time for freestyle 50m.
heehehe:3

i know its really quite impossible but i want to enter finals next yr!
it'll be good if i can get third or something:p
okok i'm getting far fetched hahhaa.
but well, think postive right:D

econs lecture day 4 here i come!

our thoughts beccome our self fulfilling prophecy

2010-12-05T16:23:00.002+08:00

suppose to go to the marina barrage for a picnic (!)
i feel like gg.
but yesterday i got home so late
plus i didnt do any work.
so i decided that i should give it a miss:(
i guess its possible too bring work there to do
but hey, who wants to bet tt i wont do it anyway. hahaha

had bible study yesterday with jason and zan
was late by 15 mins:p my bad.
but bs was relatively gd, rather relevant to me.
there was this part of it tt taught us 8 ways to screw a relationship hahaha.
thought tt was funny.

pastor phil ministered this wk.
good, as usual:)
there was this part where he said something like if God wanted us to fly, he would have given us wings. if he wanted us to swim he would have given us gills. but he continue to mention tt God gave us brains, to fly and swim, that our thoughts are as powerful/loud as our prayers.
he went on to tell us how God was the God of abundance. why do we need elephants? or cats? or dogs? why so many species of cats? isnt it a waste of resource? why didnt God just save that power?
hahahh tt was funny. his ans was tt God isnt the God of enough, but the God of abundance.
so after service i kept telling my friend (a cat lover) tt cats are a waste of resource hahahah.

after service we went to bedok for dinner. ate pattaya!
and i learnt some new words.
like mee goreng is rice.
and ayam is chicken.
coolz no?
so we were trying to find a suitable english name for shiqi when she gets baptised.
jiahui was v helpful.
she wanted it to start with 's'
he suggested salad, salmon, slimy, seasick, seashore, sanita, spice etc.
hahha it was funny:D
train-ed home and wow it was super late.

gg to listen to econs lecture day 2..

love like woe

2010-12-04T13:53:00.003+08:00

rawr its been some time.
i've been busy with cca, swim every morn.
its tiring but at least i think i'm improving. think.
hope to at least enter finals next yr.
the funny thing about swimming is that you feel really exhausted and tired but there's no muscle aches.
well, seldom. but gym definitely gives muscle aches.
and yoga too.

had swim camp in nov.
it was much more enjoyable than previous camps.
think at least we got closer to each other and things arent THAT awkward anymore.
so they are stepping up with training. (finally)
even though training sessions arent long, it feels more tough than canoeing training last time.

so anyway, i've been neglecting my homework which is badddd.
dont even want to think of next yr.
test, exams, a's and all tt studying(!) :(
my mum cant wait for me to go to uni.
i dont really want to go to uni.
truth is, i'm sick of studying.
i wish there's a road i can take w/o gg to uni.
but pris say a's cert is just not enough.
prob nj isnt the choice i should be regreting.
prob poly was a gd choice all along..
well wtv it is, i'm stuck in ac for now.
suck it up and finish it well eh?

christmas is approaching.
i wish i was gg overseas!
i guess i was really blessed last yr, travelling to so many countries!
well hilda's america trip got cancelled so gg to america with my bro is cancelled too. not tt i would have agreed to tt anyway.
my mum is thinking of japan next yr.
which i dont mind:D should go in jan when its more cold. after all, i'll be free from exams by then:D

christmas brings mixed feelings.
for one, i think its too near the end of dec.
or rather, the hols are too short.
you get all hyped up for christmas on the 25,
spend prob two days celebrating and then BOOM,
its back to sch in a wk.
sucksss.

anyway, listen to the song love like woe.
its good:D
i'm gg to attempt to listen to some econs lecture..

QUITTER!

2010-11-01T14:24:00.002+08:00

exams are stupid. serious.
to some extend they test how smart you are.
but then again, the person who can memorize the most wins.
tell me that's not true.
even pw is weird.
so its suppose to see how we can work in a group and adapt and what not?
i dont really think so.
the teachers cant mark how well the group works tgt, or how we adapt.
so they say its all about how innovative your idea is.
again, that's weird.
its about how good your english is and how organized you are.
when your english is good, you can bring out the idea in the best light. compare this to someone who has the same idea but bad english.
and then again, which ideas come in organized thoughts?
like "oh, from this i learn this and researched on that and blahblah."
they come naturally, throughout every segment of the project, not only the "initial proposal" and "final proposal" chapters.
that's lying to ourselves, and the teachers. no?

and then again, i honestly question, is it really possible to come up with a totally new idea that no one has done before?
if so, why arent we earning big bucks?
to me, i feel oral presentation is just another english oral. and it takes up a huge load of marks.
although i agree students learn more about presenting and all,
but i dont find it fair for my friends from other countries that have an accent.
or get marked down for their eng.
so is it really about presenting ideas?
since op has more weightage than wr, presenting the idea is more impt than having it?

recently i've started thinking that everything is debatable.
and i realized many things that ppl simply imply without giving it much thought.

i watched social network with zan and zhehan,
looks boring but i think its quite interesting! i enjoyed it:D
best part is, the storyline is real.
appreciate facebook more now:)

2010-10-25T22:20:00.002+08:00

today's one of my worst day yet.
been in a foul mood recently.
pw is really wearing me out.
wr is due fri and its rejected again. mygoodness i really want to ____ alr.
i appreciate my teacher for trying so hard,
but whats the point if we're gg in circles?!
initially he told us to do research first than proposal.
so i changed the whole freaking thing.
now he say have to have proposal first than research.
and i'm like WHAT?!? ISNT TT THE SAME AS THE PREVIOUS WR THEN?!

but yah, at least he tries.. i'll be fed up reading the same project over and over again i'll prob just accept it for the sake of accepting it.
op was screwed too.. one member missing, the rest not prepared.
its partly my fault cause i rushed it out too late and didnt have time to send them,
but none of them even bother to read the wr.
if you read the wr at least still have something to say right.
the missing member was found in the gym>:/
argh i'm not letting this go so easily.

i wish its easy to just give up.
than i can just stop doing everything, and dont care if i get a B or C or whatever.

and there's chinese next wk.
my head is throbbing at the thought of what i still have to do.
but at least, chinese is individual work.
i prefer it that way.

tryingtothinkofsomethingreallyintellectualtowritehere

2010-10-15T20:29:00.002+08:00

ah my bad!
hahhah had post exams activites today. and yesterday.
it was quite fun, except for the fact that all of us went back with bad sunburn.
2 whole days under the sun. (including afternoon sun!)

seems like so long ago since promos ended:p
cant believe i'm saying this.
i wouldnt have just about one week ago hahha.

but yup, i'm tired.
still re-adjusting.
since promos ended i've been spamming youtube and shows and dramas
my bedtime was pushed back too.
but now sch has started so yup, im back to my 1 oclock rule:D

ac games were quite fun.
except for a few annoying moments here and there,
i enjoyed myself with the class:)
i realised that i cant really play ball games..
to think that i used to think i could hahhaha. what a joke.
i have a phobia of balls approaching at high velocity hahahha.
but then again, who doesnt?
oh and i cant throw a frisbee properly too.
our class is not talented in that game at all.

um but my class is really good at soccer!
we actually made it to the finals, which is unexpected.
well actually they play so well it'll be weird if they dont get into the finals.
hahhaha we lost to the winning class, 1-0:(
but at least it was a good game. my friend was saying it was even more exciting than the world cup 0.0
it amazes me how the guys in my class can feel so perfectly comfortable about dribbling the ball.

got into semi finals for dodgeball too.
tt game was freaking stupid.
the councillors were prob too scared of the trouble
and the game went on and he continued being a bastard.
bleh. the worse thing was that i knew him.
after that i completely ignored him.
call it childish, whatever. didnt like him from the start anyway.
at least play fair, dear friend.

after that we went to swensens for ice cream and food.
bused/trained home:)
suppposed to go for a steamboat dinner but its all the way at kallang and laziness is really my weakness.

tuesday was supposed to have bs with lala but zan was late so it was cancelled.
after dinner lala and wilson had leaders meeting so me and zan walked arnd ps and cathay.
oh and i know its very fail but i still dont know the diff btw cathay, the grand cathay, cine etc etc.
orchard confuses me.
so we walked arnd and amused ourselves in cool shops.
fun fun:)

getting back results on friday...
for now its just full steam ahead for pw and chinese.
sigh pw sucks.
i wish my wr can be accepted alr.
its so annoying!

>:)

2010-09-21T16:02:00.003+08:00

terms are approaching!! 0.0
freak i need to study.
i dont know what i'm gg to do abt geog.
i dont get how ppl love geog tt much.
why would anyone even consider geog h3?! its crazy.

rushing wr too. sighhh.
stupid grp mate doesnt do anything.
i really want to complain but it'll affect his marks so for now, i'll just shut up.
for now.

anyway, i think microsoft 2007 is super cool!
ahhh what have i been missing out on.
i need a new lappy:p
well actually i dont but i dont mind a new one:D
just s small, portable, light, easy to use lappy.
like the one i'm using now! it's my bro's. white small lg notebook.
the only bad thing is that there's no cd reader
can be quite troublesome at times:/

my chinese tutor has been relatively nice to me these few lessons.
cause i think she knows its prob gg to be the last few lessons alr.
pls let this be the last yr of chinese!
actually chinese is not tt bad. but exams make it stressful and very much hate-able, if there's even such a word.
i'm gg to try my best but oh well...
lets not get my hopes too high eh?:)

i dont want to end up in ssp!:(

attended my cousin's wedding last sat.
my bro was being stupid as usual.
during the reception, we were people watching.
so he pointed to this guy with a huge tummy.
'eh, do you think he's pregnant?'
cause it's a GUY, i started laughing. than he said:
'i think better not say. later he's not'
HAHHAHA. and he said it with the straight face-.-

can be the next nigahiga hahahha.

ok i really want to update but have wr to rush!!
soon!

a bad carpenter blames his tools. a good carpenter blames a bad carpenter>:)

2010-08-19T21:41:00.003+08:00

can you believe this i got ZERO for my elearning pe quiz-.-
and i really tried!
its stupid anywya, i dont get why must i do tt.
elearning is not working out and never will.
when will teachers get tt fact?
you're suppose to evaluate how it goes and stuff,
surely, they've realised tt nobody learns anything on elearning days right?!
angst>:(

i'm in a sci class and technically for sci classes elearning only starts tmr.
cause the chem ppl have spa today and when you have spa you have the whole day off.
so my form teacher alr said tt today's off for us.
BUT, stupid chinese was for everyone and due today.
when esther smsed me it was alr 7.50, 10mins to the deadline.
by the time my com start up and starts loading, it was alr 8 plus.
so yup, you know what happens when you miss a DEADline.
hopefully i can smoke my way through and a understanding teacher will care to listen to me.

today i went to cck library to study with two of my classmates, dionne and leonard.
it was, not v productive but i kinda enjoyed it nonetheless.
well it got me thinking, at least we're starting to hang out of our own,
and it doesnt feel tt awkward anymore:)
we ate at subway and talked quite a bit.
havent eaten cold cut in the longest time i really miss it:D

been watching jake and amir on youtube alot.
hahha i think they're funny:p
now you're gg to think tt my sense of humour is screwed hahaha.
oh well i dont care.

oh and another reason why they shouldnt have elearning:
other ppl can help the students do it.
ppl like my friends will pay you to help him do his work.
naruto manga is out:)
prob the second best thing tt happened this week.
hahha the best thing tt happened? 是个不能说的秘密。:)

i wish my chinese's better. i think languages are cool.
but examinations make it not so cool.

sticky

2010-08-17T00:37:00.002+08:00

using my bro's com.
it's muchmuch faster than my 4 yr old computer hahah
but the keyboards all small and tiny i keep punching in the wrong letters.
just did pw.
dont want to talk abt it.

hi friends, i screwed my physics spa:(
we were asked to find the temperature of a flame (of a matchstick)
the first time i got it, it was 700-800 plus degree celcius.
i didnt believe tt was possible.
like how can it be more than 100 right?! right?!
so i tried again. this time once it started burning the wood part of the matchstick a little i blew the fire out.
so i got 76 degrees C and i thought i was safe.
but well well well. 700-800 should be the ans cause everybody else got tt.
i'm the only cukoo one tt changed my ans!:(

i didnt know tt matchsticks could get so hot!
is tt possible?!
seriously?!
if you tell me 700-800 degreeC i'll just freak out. if ypou tell me matchstick ill be like hehe what about it.
tell me im not the only one!

i have sch tmr..
well at least its not prelims like the sec4s:p
hahha cant imagine one yr passed so fast.
just yesterday i was trying to cram chem into my head hahha.
all the best to all the sec4s out there! jyjy!!

what's new?

2010-08-11T22:05:00.005+08:00

i heard the funniest thing last sunday.
this three kids were playing.
two were fighting/snatching/jumping tgt (cant really remember what they were doing)
the other one stood by the side and started saying "GAY. GAY. GAY."
hahhah freak! at their age i prob didnt even know what gay/les/homos were-.-
whats the world coming to?!

i have this HUGEEEE pimple on my nose:(
somehow all the huge pimples always get to my nose.
and i seldom get pimples.
when i do, its huge and its on my nose:(

something i did for the first time in my life: called and book a hair appointment for three ppl!
hahhah its rare! how many ppl do that in their lifetime!
i wanted a hair cut. so did my bro and his gf.
so i called the hairdresser and we all got our hair cut by her:)
coolnesssss.

on national day i went down to the hardcourt opp lot 1 for the parade hahah
i know its lame but well, my whole family+grandma+uncle's famil+taiwanese kids+bro's gf went.
and there were fireworks and food and drinks so why not right?:)
hahhah PLUS, i was equipped with my iphone which came in handy;)
my aunt got an iphone. and both my cousins got one each too! hhahah, its so common to have smart phones nowadays
whatever will happen to sony ericsson? um...
anyway, my mum's order for a iphone 4 is in hahha.
well the matter now is who gets it *_*
hahah nah i'm not so greedy i'm not having tt. i like my iphone just fine:D
and anyway to those who think we're freaking rich, the iphone 4 is much cheaper cause my mum's plan ended and she's buying with plan plus a 30% discount off normal bills. so totally arnd 300-400 plus? not the iphone 4 itself which is a whooping 1000 bucks 0.0
and my bro is still using his gf's spare phone which is a million years old it looks like the first generation of phones 0.0

i saw the ipod first generation today! like the v first of apple's work. hhahah its quite far from what it is now!
its barely one generation and so much (cannot count!) changes are happening to the technology arnd us, i really wonder what it will be like in future!
prob by then, computers are the wierd old stuff alr? hahhah well, we'll see!

had gp test today.
i think i have a prob articulating my thoughts.
its all jumbled up and moves too fast for me to catch.
the ideas are there but i cant seem to pen it down without forgetting what i wanted to write next.
its like a big bowl of maggie noodles. the noodles' there but all mixed up. and when you take a mouth from your chopsticks some noodles tend to slide back down into the bowl.
i know what you're thinking. use a fork. but you know what, hey guys, its only an analogy and i CANT FREAKING USE A FORK CAN I.

good news, priscylia's back!:D
yayayyayayay. hahahha its good to have her back!
its like... like a pillar of strength coming back!
unity is strength, they will all pull through ya!

how about... :))))

booya

2010-08-06T14:12:00.003+08:00

kinda bored..
sch ended super early today!
10 plus?
had national day celebrations which were... ... hahaha
crescent's one still the best
well i think the best part was that each class got subway cookies:D
and since half the class werent around, we got 2 each:D
hahahh

i was so close to ponning sch today.
my mum woke me up and i told her tt i didnt want to go.
so she said ok and left, than she came back to wake me up again
and i gave in and went to sch.
so close!

slept at 7 plus 8 last night HAHHAA.
i didnt even know i fell asleep until my mum woke me up for sch hahha.
joke. means i fell asleep nearly straight after dinner hahah.
happy birthday singapore!
i love sg because on its birthday, we get 4 days off hahaha.

have bbq later with excos!
yayayyayayayayyayay fun!

well the sch didnt let us off easy.
have 2 test on wed
lots of homewk due.
and physics spa the following mon.
jc doesnt really let you know what spa is coming out.
oh and i realised tt every sec sch gives their students clues abt spa too hahha.

whats go go go?
tri-go!

unfold the petals

2010-07-29T23:58:00.002+08:00

deb turned sixteen on sat and here was our failed plan hahha
zan and i had an impromtu, lets-go-deb's-house-after-service plan
so we bought pris' presents with deb's
after service we went to deb's house
but she didnt pick up her phone and was in church
so zan was sitting at the lift lobby, writting in a bk, we were gg to leave it somewhere and go off cause we didnt know when she would be back
than her bro came back and hahhah he totally stared at us
hahha he regconised me:p so we got invited in
too bad she was still out so we left the stuff there and went off
i stay too far to stay at bishan for too long:p

ok, tt was a relatively boring update hahha.
gd news, i passed all my subjects for terms because the ca weightage was high.

we had ac sports there yesterday.
it was a waste of time, but fun to watch hahah.
i just sat there and laugh at ppl:p
but well, i think i was with the wrong company, super extra.
cause all my other classmates scattered, i was stuck with the canoeist in my class.
well, she's nice and she tried to not make me feel left out i know but it was super awkward for me..
i really wish i can get over it.. i want to put all it behind me and move on but i just cant seem to let go.
arg sucks.
but oh well, after tt when they went to do pull ups i took my bag and left.
prob too much for me to take in one day..

today was .. weird
my friend got annoyed at a grp of us and she totally exploded at esther.
well, i wasnt directly involved but got pulled in nonetheless.
they were teasing her and i was at one side laughing and videoing. hhaha.
she got annoyed with them:p
esther and i sms to apologise
she didnt reply me. prob cause i'm not easy to bully.
but she replied esther with all the f words and woah, i was shocked.
um class guys influence? probably.
but yup, after a while it was ok, except tt it was super awkward btw esther and her and they wont talking.
weird? yes.
but its true, all was at fault, including me:p

i know this sounds weird but fitting into jc is super hard.
i cant believe tt until now i still have to try so hard.
i blame my lousy cca. i really do.
lousy to the max.
gd swimmers so what? we hardly know each other.

i'm beginning to rely more on my wkends now,
i really look forward to cell and service.
cause the ppl there are ... real, true, impt to me.
its where i can be myself.
crescent wasnt like tt. is it me? or everybody else? i really dont know..

tt's alot of hard concrete truths tt i've been pushing away.
its hard to accept.

hahah what the heck i have alot of work to do.
i enjoy reading the bible:)
i have to go.

2010-07-24T13:14:00.003+08:00

cynthia said i nv post for v long so here i am!
hahha i dont think many read this anyway so i dont feel guilty abt not posting:p
hahhah

i'm supposed to meet zan to buy pris's present but she's having consultation with her teacher so she pushed it back an hour.
so here i am, wasting one hour of my life

had gym training yesterday.
we have it every fri of the week.
its tiring, i'm aching.
but of course, you cant compare this with what the canoeist do.
they're crazy. i dont know how they study when they have such long gym trainings
they train nearly everyday. except for fri and sun-.-
i think.
thank God i have more time to concentrate on other things too.

last time when i was in canoeing ppl asked me how i handle it. i really dont know.
i guess its because you know you've alr wasted alot of time so when you do study, you really study.
and wow, our seniors actually did quite well in o's too hahaha.
and after you excersise somehow you think better, youre mind is clearer, but youre definetly sleepier hahaha.

sch's getting heated up.
hols were long over.
every morn i get up feeling super terrible, unable to make myself believe that the day would be ok.
but after showering i usually feel better.
in the train, its the usual.
i try to avoid anyone i know.
cause in the morn i'm so tired half my mind is still in lalaland.
i'll stand slp in the train and when i walk to sch, i'm walking like i'm drunk cause my eyelid is so heavy.
i'll wish tt the sch is nearer so tt i can reach the hall faster, then i'll just crash and slp in the hall.
all throughout announcements and even during the national anthem my knees will buckle hahhaa
(my friend was worried i was gg to fall and hit the perso infront! HAHHAHA)
the first break i have i'll grab a can of coffee.
and life continues.

everyday of the wk i'm packed.
mon wed fri cca.
tues smu study grp.
thurs cell.
sat church.
sun church(sometimes) study give tuition chinese tuition
and wahla, its mon again:(

i wonder if it was tt bad in sec sch..
i cant really remember if i hated sch tt much.
i cant remember if i struggled tt much with studies too.
oh well, just fight whats in front of you and dont look back:)

hahhah i ate yoshinoya for the first time on thurs.
it was.. ok, not fantastic or anything.
and their rice wasnt the nice jap rice i was looking forward to.
but nonetheless, i had grt company so tt was good:)

my friends from asg are back.
hahha ah well.

i dont like it when i see my friends running off to their cca mates and all tt and im left there to wait for them.
once or twice is ok but like every single break?
i dont like it too when they keep talking abt their cca and what not
cause i dont like my cca.

have to go. bb!

revelations

2010-07-09T21:22:00.002+08:00

so far results are 0.0
i only failed gp , so far.
but most of the rest is boarder line pass:p
still, i thank God for His grace!
for example, physics. my mcqs were super tough and i didnt know how to do like more than half the questions.
but i miraculously did 12/15 for mcq. hahha. and i didnt read instructions and attempted every question of section c.
but i still passed my physics overall, i'm relieved.
gp was bad. for As if you fail GP you fail As.
so its scary.

anyway, i changed econs, gp and maths teacher.
hahhah i seriously think the previous teachers told them how my class was.
both the new teachers are super fierce 0.0 except for the gp teacher.
and strict.
but i'm quite sure she got some inside info cause i saw some obvious pink stars drawn on own class list tt she was holding.
one pink star for the notorious ones, two for the noisy-and-dont-know-when-to-shut-up ones. HAHHA
hahha but they make the class fun:) although i do admit i get irritated at times.

had my first polo training.
we were only at the medium pool learning to toss the ball and catch it but ohman, it was tiring.
my right hand is aching now. think its cause we had keep our elbows above the water.
trying to get others to join too cause we dont have enough players.
its quite pathetic, really.

chinese oral next wk.
jc really dont prepare you for it. or rather, they dont really care about chinese in jc.
ask any other jc students, not only ac.
and btw, i passed my chinese terms. yah stupid right, pass chinese fail english.
but its been like tt since sec sch actually:/

i really need to buck up. semesters gg to pass quickly.
have around 4 wks more to the deadline for eom,
than 2 wks for wr,
than 1 wk break,
sch reopen promos,
oral presentation, i&r,
chinese As.

only after all that crap can i say tt i'm done for the yr.
btw, we have about 8 wks to promos.
dont rub it in that we just finished mid yrs. schedule is really tight.

i did mention ebfore that my class has super high profile ppl right?
so yup, one netballer gg for asian youth games in malaysia, missing sch for 2 weeks.
one volleyballer in ayg too. missing not only 2 wks of sch, missing chinese listening compre too.
one swimmer that can go for ayg but is not because he's taking part in yog instead and doesnt want ayg to disrupt his yog training.
coolness?:)
i wish i was just as cool but unfortunately not. hahha.
i know that i know that i know its seriously stupid ttm but hahhah, it sucks to feel jealous.
i hateeee feeling jealous.
dont get me wrong, i'm super proud of my friends and i'm glad for them. but sometimes we all wish for something more right? tell me its not only me. but honestly, there's no good reason why i shouldnt be satisfied with my life. hhahah murphy's law, like how the queue will always be shorter on the other side, the grass will always seem greener on the other side.

i've been holding back my tongue from gossiping about some ppl cause it wont make me any different from them
its hard to control the red monster. so far, so good.

wah, this post wasnt easy to type.
hahhah. um... such a weird feeling..

so long, farewell.

click here

2010-07-01T15:57:00.002+08:00

well well well.
so tt's it for myes:)
glad its over ahah.

but oh well, i have chinese oral to worry about now.
and pw, of course:(

having an iphone is super convenient!
i use the net if i want to, anytime.
and it doesnt require me to wait v long for connection and what not:)
hahha and i read the news more often now!
i read the online version on yahoo and channel news asia,
but of course, its selective reading;)

think i screwed up most of my papers sighhh
but i know its also because i spent my hols rotting away except for the last wk?
but i'm proud tt i actually managed to cram some geog in yesterday.
and boy, it was alot to cram. 8 thick lectures and all these while i didnt know whats gg on
i finally understood yesterday! hahaha.

well, we'll see what the results say:D hahhaa.
everybody's claiming tt they'll get into ssp (some extra lesson if you do badly)
i hope i pass. or at least pass enough to not get myself into tt fate.

i'm gg to watch eclipse later!
hopefully the tickets wont be sold out cause its the first day of screening.
hahha i havent watched a movie in ages i'm looking forward to it:)
and of course, the company too:D
i'm gg to give myself a few days of rest. after all i've been sleeping at unearthly hours.
i can slp anywhere now.

hahah today's geog paper was in the afternoon.
and my bro at lessons at noon.
so we left house tgt hahah.
it was 5 mins to twelve and i asked him what time his lesson was starting.
he said 12. so i laughed and told him tt he's late.
and he told me "no. i'm not late. i'm 5 mins early."
HAHHAHA WHAT THE FREAK.

so he was annoying me the whole journey i gave up reading geog.
then there was this little indian girl.
she was wearing a yellow shirt.
then he said. "yah, yellow goes well with black"
HAHHAHAH

another funny thing.
i asked him what he was gg to tell the teacher since he was gg to be late.
"i'll tell the teacher that i help an old lady cross the road"
HHAHAHH
i'm still laughing thinking about it HAHAH.
and when he said that he was alr late. like 15 mins late.
take 15 mins to help an old lady cross the road?!
HAHHAHA.
when he alighted he told me he was gg to buy bubble tea first since he was alr late.
HAHAH super amusing trip to sch today.

ohohoh and last sat i got into the scariest car accident.
first car accident i experienced.
long story short, no one in the van was hurt.
but the other guy didnt get lucky.
he's still in ICU yesterday:/ um but apparently he had no broken bones at all.
just bruise and cut. so i dont realy know why he's in ICU but its prob because he didnt get up until yesterday.
but he still cant talk.

yup, so i hope all goes well for him.
if not i'll feel guilty moving on with life like this while he's still stuck in the hospital

on another note, my bro passed his driving test hahah.
i really dont know how he passed.
but yup he did.
although i'm looking forward to ppl sending me around,
i dont really look forward to his driving hahhaa. it scares me 0.0
and after the sat incident, i think i'm too scared to drive alr0.0
i dont mind mrt and buses anyway, environmentally friendly:)
but sometimes it gets on my nerves.
and most of the time i wish i have a private chauffeur:P

so tt's about it:)

3rd week

2010-06-15T22:08:00.003+08:00

oh freakkk its alr the third wk of hols:(((
well at least i still have one more wk
to catch up on all the work and freakkkkk i need to start studying for terms x.x

i've been trying my best to clock in as many cip hours as possible.
so after training i go to a hospice at novena to help out at a day care, i'm folding straw hearts for charity, and playing wheelchair basketball on monday!
packed to the max.

so last mon channel u came to the hospice as they were doing some program.
hahhah i was hoping there'll be like polo boys or something but obviously, no hhaha.
but at least it was still quite fun.
evelyn tan, the aunty lucy guy, some 933 dj tt esther was obssessed with and belinda and one more i cant remember
hahhah the evelyn lady is super pretty ahhha.
and i was super glad to be able to take a photo with belinda! hahaha
i know i get to see her sometimes on citynews but its different real life!
hahha and when i told her i was from chc too she said she thought i looked familiar!! HAHHAHA.
yay made me happy for very long ahahha
PLUS, we had good food that day:)
channel u treated everyone to a buffet!
hahhah so yup, i was like some hungry ghost (give me a break! i had training in the morn! and pls, i'm trying to gain weight)
i was spamming the eclairs:p

i've been watching alot of tv.
yesterday i watched around the world in 80 days hahha.
and today i watched the noose, can you serve.
hahha the noose is freaking funny! i recommend it to anyone who is stressed! but pls, you must have a sense of humour:)

i'm soooo worried about pw.
sighhhh.
i need posters.
books.
tips.
inspiration or any kind!

another thing tt i've been asked to think about.
hhaahha my life.
someone asked me what i want to do with my life and i really didnt know what to answer.
she told me i was idling my life away and she hates ppl who idleo.o
i've been nua-ing for months..
time to perk up and pick up where i left off(:
hahha i sound so optimistic.
well, we'll see how it goes:)

yayyyy i'm still happy about my photo with belinda hahahha:DDDD

when it gets tougher

2010-06-02T18:33:00.002+08:00

first thing first, i find it downright ridiculous how the headlines are all pointing their fingers towards chc and than expalaining in the passage later that, "oh, innocent till proven guilty."
?!
singaporeans are so fast to jump into conclusions, trusting the news so much and incapable of making their own stand.
i mean, tt's what we learnt in gp right?
we also learnt in gp how news also take biased sides, unlike how many of us think it is, fair and nuetral no more.

i have absolute trust in my church and pastor kong.
the end fullstop end of conversation.

changing the subject, swim camp has been quite a mind blowing thing for me.
you know how you think after all the disappointments you've went through in your life you can handle disappointments well?
its not true. disappointments are something you cant get used to. it hits you right smack in the face every single time and it doesnt get old.
honestly, it was super upsetting. well if the exco chosen had been other better ppl prob i wouldnt feel so bad.
but sigh, i'll try to just accept it and trust that the seniors chose the right group of ppl.
but anyway, i'm glad yishang got in:) she deserves it:)

nonetheless, i thank those ppl who secretly smsed me and brought comfort in an unimaginable way.
here in ac, i have absolutely nothing to be proud of.
its unlike my glorious days in crescent hahha!
i guess i'll really concentrate on my studies and just swim/play polo to the best of my efforts and not care so much about the rest.

ever since the announcement, i've been asking God.
but i believe the answer was alr given to me way before this.
do not boast in anything else, but boast in Christ.
hahha it may seem super silly to you, but tt's what God kept telling me, way before the elections when i questioned some other stuff.
i'm happy to be a christian, proud to have Jesus in my life.
its the best thing that ever happened to me (L)
:)

asia conference

2010-05-28T21:59:00.002+08:00

today i stupidly went to the mrt station at 5.30 plus hoping to take the train
i was actually planning to take the train at 5
but the first train came at 6 plus-.-

after tt i met my pri sch friend(!) who was also gg for the asia conference!
hahha she was an atheist for 4 years, i'm quite glad she's back:)
she used to get angry tt i wouldnt give up, but hey, she's back:)
hahha i think i did give up, but God didnt!
well tt's the good thing. no matter how long, God is always waiting:)
4 years! i only backslided for 1 year max and life was alr crap.

so we went tgt.
she changed quite a bit, in my opinion.
thought she was an extrovert in psch, like me.
but it seems like both of us turned introvert in sec sch hahha.
cause the queue was crazyyyyy we decided to sit tgt instead of finding our cell grps.
we were both quite blur. dont really know what to do and where we were gg.
but we made it! to the main hall too!:D
i would say we barely made it to the main hall.
left with super corner seats.
but still:)

ate lots of snacks and mentos.
it was tough to decipher what pastor yonggi cho was saying.
its tough to listen to a korean speak english
i tried my best!

after tt we split up and joined our own cells after the first service.
i sat there for a while, then i left to learn how to tend the booth.
i'll be tending a "do you want to be a bible hero" booth tmr and zone booth on sunday
i thought it was some small scale, asking-over-the-tables, not-special kind of game.
i was only told to ask questions.
but! in the end they had projectors set up with powerpoints tt really works like do you want to be a millionare.
and a mike 0.0
even the seating arrangement is like purposefully adjusted.
i just hope i dont screw up! like read the word wrongly or something.

so i'm gg to be super busy for next few days.
after asia conference i'm gg to have a 3 days 2 night swim camp!:)
its gg to be funfunfun. i usually dont like camps. i'm trying to think positively.

alot of work to do over the hols.
all the homework and project work and terms to study for 0.0
june hols is finally here i cant believe it.
its alr half yr in my short 2 yrs in jc.
june hols is finally here. finally. hasnt really sink in yet.
at the same time, june hols seem so packed, it seems extremely short.
like whoosh, gone.
i'll be busybusybusy.

anyway since this post is titled asia conference, i shall end with something to do with asia conference.
to all those itouch, iphone users! download the asia conference app in the itunes store for free!
ahhaha thanks for surviving the long post!:)

2010-05-22T19:28:00.002+08:00

i think my teeth is screwed:(
need to make a trip to a dentist soon.
but everything's so ex sigh...

had slpover yesterday at lisa's house.
in the end only me and cynthia went hahha
but it was still fun anyway:D

we definitely talked alot.
caught up with one another,
listened to SCANDALSSSS hahhah!
and watch ip man!:)

slept super late cause those crazy two refused to slp hahha
but soon after everyone was tired and we craashed:)
super enjoyable!
really happy tt we caught up.

too bad val couldnt come:(
nvm its ok, june hols ok!

and anyway, i'm quite terrible.
i came home to sleep and yah, i over slept.
i dont know if my alarm actually rang but yah.
by the time i woke up it was 5 plus and service was alr starting
i missed bible study!

hahah but oh well, i'm gg for service tmr at je instead hahha
yup, i'm off!

2010-05-16T17:25:00.003+08:00

o.o
the previous post was superrrr unlike me hahhaha
anyway i'm feeling muchhhh better now:D
hahhaha
i decided to just accept it as it is:)
or in other words, just dont care so much:)

ok i'm freaking screwed with all my work.
i have 3 common test next wk tt i'm not prepared for.
anyway, my bro shifted his com over to the other room.
so i'm happy!
its gg to be quiet and all but i guess it'll be better:D
at least i wont keep getting distracted.

okok better get back to work!
i need to learn how to fight against the zzz monster!

for your entertainment

2010-05-14T21:44:00.002+08:00

hahha i knew it i knew it.
i knew it even before i saw it.
i knew it was happening.
i knew you were tt kind of person.
but then again, i'm not much of a difference.

but its super amusing.
not the 'haha i'm laughing' funny but so stupid its amusing.
it suckkkkss.
and just as i guessed it would happen,
i'll guess what happens after this.
as much as i dont wish for such things to happen,
you didnt learn, did you?

i know its ridiculous to just lash it out on some blog tt i know tt person wouldnt read but i just need a platform to las it out and blogging seemed fine.
for me to approach you regarding this is too stupid, and it wouldnt help but make things worse.
i dont have any feelings for you. but i wish you're not like this.
enough of ranting, i'm not exactly in the best mood.
i've been pms-ing.
i just dont talk much and get irritated easily.
i guess its alot of bottled feelings tt is getting to me.
or prob i just have sooo much things on hand the temptation to just give up is increasing everyday.
when i crossed the zebra crossing outside sch after training i had the wildest thought and it scared me.

if my life is alr considered super gd compared to others, i shouldnt be complaining. and i know i shouldnt.

thanks for showing me how invisible i can get.
i'm being overly sensitive and stupid too and it irritates me.
i wish i can cry easily. then i can cry all at once and let it all out.
but i dont. it just keeps stabbing me.
i feel like eating and stuffing myself with food.

ah freak. i shall just keep my mind busy and do my homework.

very berry

2010-05-08T13:15:00.003+08:00

ok so most of you know, i got my iphone:DDD
hahha hey give me a break, i didnt change my phone for very long
and plus it spoiled.
so my mum bought it for me as a gift for doing well during o's too:D
tt includes the changing of plan so friends! i have unlimited sms now and free incoming and (oh this is so overwhelming!) i have caller id (FINALLYYYYY:DDDD)
so call me! sms me!:DDD

hahha but getting iphone has it down sides too.

1)first, its super hard to jailbreak this latest version.
i wanted to jailbreak but the system didnt really receive gd comments so i dont dare to jailbreak with a lousy system.
so technically its not as fun as iphone's supposed to be:p

2)i dont know abt the dataplan and what not. so when i first used the iphone under my old plan, i used the net, which is chargable;(

3)i keep freaking out if i'm using something that i need to pay for.
and it doesnt help tt everyone keeps telling me things like ppl incurred thousand dollar bills using the net or tt iphone users always have to pay abt 100 plus the first montho.o
until now i'm still super freaked out! so stoppppp scaring me ppl.

4)called a traitor by some ppl hahhaha cause they use blackberry.
i was actually contemplating. it was either bb or iphone.
but my mum prefer the looks of an iphone so yup:)
she prob thought that i mentioned bb cause it was cheaper or something and she didnt want to seem like she didnt want to get me an iphone cause i did mention it before.
hahha mymum is niceee

so mothers' day is tmr!
i dont know what to do for my mum hahhaha.
ok tt's all, i need to try to rush some wk then go for church:)
i love God:D

2010-04-26T21:41:00.002+08:00

why am i focusing on all the wrong things?!
ahhh, humans are one screwed species, really.
attention seeking, disgusting beings.
God must relaly be extremely loving to love us dirty beings.
i cant even stand the way i think:S

cheated? but its my own fault anyway.
i allowed it to happen.
ah freak, stupid me.

i want a week off sch..
but i dont want to miss lessons.
just the world to stop for a while, give me some time to catch my breath.

but its all my stupid excusessss
cant stand myself.
i'm off.

2010-04-25T00:26:00.002+08:00

the cool water
the evil wind..
the sound of the water splashing
the sound of my pant

i miss the thrill.
i miss working with my parnters.
shouting and counting and pushing.

FREAKKK WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING.
I MISS CANOEING LIKE CRAPPPPPDDD;
ARGGG
D;

i'm all grown up now, cant you see?

2010-04-24T11:18:00.002+08:00

yellow!
yesterday was free 50m.
hahahh i was as tired as fly, but prob just as slow.
improved my timing, at least.
and i didnt disqualify myself this time:)

hahha the rest of them swim super fast.
mark my words when i say super fast!
jacinda swims 50m in 29 secs.
WHO SWIMS THAT IN 29 SECONDS?!?!

arren swims 100m in like 53seconds i'm depressedDD:
hahhah, i'm being stupid.
they swam all their livesss.

anywya, i didnt go back for my physics retest.
i think i didnt mention it, but i failed my physics testDD:
sighhhh. i forced myself to stay home to revise physics instead so i guess that kinds of makes up.

i hateee the sound of disappointment in your voice.
you know how you want someone to just affirm you but it doesnt happen?
yup, that was how i felt yesterday, kinda crusheddd..
ah well.

its not like i nv fail a test before but its saddening hahah freakkk.
work harder art!:D

things i have to do:
gp compo
revise 5 chaps of geog for test on mon
do chinese tuition homewk by tmr
redo PI..:(

ahhhh. i feel like i'm diving into the ocean too fast, and getting instantly crushed by the weight of water above me.
hahah i like reading broader perspectives!
i will think twice, thrice, a lot of times before i ever purchase a bottle of bottled water from now on!
but i feel like i kinda waster my money.
cause i finished it in a few days.. i bet i wouldnt be able to finish times in a few days, which makes it more worth it.
hahah the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side eh?

i better get gg manzz.
and i dont know whats w me and all the zzz at the back of my speech.
hahha freakzzz.

the water issue

2010-04-21T18:50:00.001+08:00

caught up on my sleep today.
slept super early yesterday:D
so i just kept sleeping until late morn.
wake up, eat, sleep again:)

made my way to sports sch not in a very gd mood.
just being so grumpy i apologise to whoever i offended!
freaked outttt.
did plunges/starts + sprints.
the first plunge was terribleeee, since i only learned plunging yesterday(!).
seniors were super supportive and nice.
taught me how to plunge:D
some told me to think like a horse going through a hoop (!?) and others told me to keep my chin in etc
hahha but the horse through a hoop was the funniest:p
did some warming up. rest, freaked out more.

finally it was reporting time. registed, took a purple tag with the number '2' on it.
sat down, wore my swim cap.
reported to the starting line.
stood on the board, plunged.
died halfway..
touched the wall with ONLY ONE HAND
DISQUALIFIEDDDD.

sighhhh. but i was last anyway so yah.
but just a little sore abt itD:

thanks to yishang sam and elvira who cabbed down straight after sch to watch my race!
i have such nice friends:)
although they came just in time to hear that i got disqualified,
its the thought that counts:D

i dont think i can pin much hopes on free on fri too.
just give it my best shot i guess.

i'm glad mr lau gave us the opportunity to try out:)
and he was super encouraging, telling me its ok and i still have next yr.
it reminds me of when i was sec 1.
i have the opportunity to canoe in nats too, really blessed.
although i came in 5th, it was still an experience.
of how the race starts, how to register etc.
and i came back stronger in sec2 which earned me a silver:)
(my pride and joy!)

so yup, work hard, i can do.
embarrassing? yes, but what can i do abt it.
jy!:)

thou art welcome in this place

2010-04-18T09:39:00.002+08:00

我要去游泳了。就顺便打几个字吧。好奇怪，受不了了！
i give up.

anyway, had speech day yesterday. it was super boringggg.
i fell asleep before the thing started and the teacher came to wake me and ask if i was ok hahaha.
tired lahhh..

its my common test period now.
and it'll last quite long since its something like one wk once.
i'm super jealous of cynthia and her fun orientation!
sighhh. she ought to thank me that i told her to choose poly mannnn.

went out to lido and freak, i'm turning into a pig plsss.
all the junk and stupid food. like SUNDAEEEE~~(:D)~~
i love the pro cameras. what do they call it? DSLRs?
its super clear and gd!

went for service and it was fabbbb.
i knew it the moment i stepped into the hall:D
hahha dont ask how.

went home. wanted to do PI but the zzz monster won the battle instead.
suckssss.

sch is relatively ok.
i'm trying to like my class. or get use to it, at least.
alot of internal conflicts? i think. well not alot but yah.
it doesnt involve me, obviously. but its awkward to be with the same two ppl who have conflict at one time.
and i think its super stupid.
they're alr in jc for goodness' sake!

i want to play badminton for 3 hours straight again.
i want to sleep throughout the day and watch dramas to early mornings again.
but of course, its just wasting time to live watching dramas.
一寸光阴，一寸金，寸金难买寸光阴。
hahhah jy to me!

straight A's artrillian!
straight A's for A lvls!
and that includes chinese.

shall attempt to do gp.
kbye.

2010-04-10T13:41:00.003+08:00

finally done with PI, quite relieved.
pls let it be accepted!!!
super busy, alot of things to do! tutorials etc and now terms are startingD:

went for a div hockey girls finals at delta yesterday.
it was a good game.
even though ac lost but it was a gd game!
and they fought hard and fair:)
so well done ac!:D

supposed to go swimming today but it was running in the morn.
so cancelled it.

i dont really have anything interesting to say..
cant wait for speech day!

i'm so sad that i cant find a proper nice high quality spongebob video to watchD:

i should be memorizing for word power. semi's next wk and i havent started!
freak!
kbye

under the radar

2010-03-31T18:01:00.003+08:00

cant wait for easter~~
hahha its gg to be my first anniversary in chc:)

anyway, i finally tried mcspicy tt day:D
i was back home for dinner and my mum bought home a double mcspicy and a mcflurry for me:DDD
yumyum:D
i nv imagined my first mcspicy would be a double ahhaha.
i think its because i wrote in my diary i wanted mcflurry under a 'want' list and she saw it.
hahha my mum is nice:D

oh and after the swim camp i told her i miss nutella and today when i reached home a saw the huge tub of nutella on my table:DD
hahha goodieeee.
few days ago she bough me nerds and sweets and kinder bueno:DD
yesterday i had 2 nerds rope, which i absolutely loveeee
yippieeee:DD

hahah but better not stuff myself with all the sugary stuff.
afterall, nats is less than a month away:/

council invest yesterday:D hahah congrats to all invested!
i really miss the time when we were part of the invest, instead of being just guests.
it was great to hang out with the excos again
i reallyreally miss them:)
i miss the time we crap and suan and joke and debate and all the stupid meetings.
sighhhhh.

oh and this yr's food was better:DD
or prob i was just hungry? hahah.
cabbed back with christabel after tt only to pon training:p
but tt's the reason why me and black went to the gym today! ahhaha

quite tiring. its not aching, but just tired.
i'm getting old:(
cant wait for speech day too! can get to meet moreee ppl!!
sighsigh.

been hanging out with peiqi kanice and black quite a bit.
ahhahah they are super retardedddd.
but i enjoy their retarded company:)

plsplspls,
dont make me make the same mistake again.
i'm so close, so close, to giving in.

i will not stand in your way

2010-03-28T11:37:00.002+08:00

my blog is not dying stupid cynthia:p
hahhah too busy for my own gd
short one before i read up on sg's budget and sart doing my econs homewk

funorama yesterday.
it was wow, one hugeee event.
in the morn it was still not so crowded, ppl streaming in, music blasting.
then it started getting extremely crowded
but it was a good experience:D
thankfully, the game wasnt as bad as we thought it would be.
and seriously, i really liked the game:) super fun!
i think the whole fun fair was a success.
but if you dont intend to eat and you're 14 and above, you prob wont enjoy it as much.
cause all the games are more suited for younger kids.
and the rest of the stalls are selling food.

after my shift at the games stall i was running back and forth btw the two stalls, helping out at the food stall and games.
the patty wasnt selling well.
but at least the ice cream saved us:D
i wasnt v happy with a certain someone but ah well.
i think she could tell i wasnt v happy anyway:p

then came my parents:)
so glad they came!:D hahha ate and stuff. at least they got to see how the sch fun fair was like:)
i want to bring my parents out more often ahhaha. i'm maturing! mrs seow will be v proud of me:DD

cynthia arrived with her friend.
hahahha i was so sad when it wasnt a guyyyD:
hahha got me all excited for nothing!
walked her around a bit.
sorry i couldnt bring you arnd tt much!!D:

met churnhoe.
tt was seriously honestly shocking.
he kept bugging me to give him ice cream so i took one for him.
and i gave cynthia too!
hahah i'm a gd friend.

met siya and alot others! fats!
hahah glad i met themmm i miss them like crapppp.
oh and how can i forget monteiro!! hahaha when i saw her i shouted and ran to hug her
too bad they didnt sell chicken rice today, i really want her to try the extremely hot chilli!
we talked quite a bit. hahaha. i'm glad she's enjoying herself in cj:) do well monteiro!:)

walked arnd with siya for a while.
hahah i had trouble opening this bottle of drink.
and i just realised tt its from germany!
hahha i miss germanyD:

left for service/bible study.
thank God for a seat! hahah i slept all the wayyyyy~
bible study was ok.
service was good:)
it was the first time i was THAT near pastor kong i feel so honoured AHHAHA.
hahha i know i'm being stupid but pastor kong is v tall and has big shoes:p

went to bedok to eat then train-ed back with jynn chee:)

cant wait for investtttt!!!!
roarrrr:D

hahah dont ask me what happened to a "short" post:p

i thought i thought of every possibility

2010-03-19T23:14:00.003+08:00

i'm quite bored.. and very sleepy.
did only maths tutorial today.
i realised that the teacher alr taught tutorial 4, just tt our class went to st hilda's so i missed tt lecture.
feel super stupid cause i'm stuck at the second part of the first Q of tutorial 4.

i have been listening to mvs:D
eng at first.
the songs tt juniper will approve of.
like john mayer, jack johnson, micheal buble.
then came cynthia and it was kpop all the way:D
hahah shall not discuss the details of our convo here:D
too embarrassing and some things shall be kept secret hahah.

kim bum!

so come on and fly with me, as we make our great escape

2010-03-19T10:32:00.002+08:00

just came back from grueling swim camp.
4 days of eat/sleep/swim/slack
3 days of cold hard sleep.
came back tanner. even my tongue is brown cause i burned it yesterday morn drinking hot milo:p
so the whole camp was not as tiring for us as it was for the seniors.
but at least we finished learning all four strokes, which is gd:)
mr lau(teacher in charge) wants to put me in 50m fly and 100m free this yr.
yup, i'm so confident that i can get first!
from the back.
i cant even swim fly properly-.-

other than tt, i havent down much of hol homewk and its bad.
terms are coming:S
need to revise and studystudyD:

they decided to let us off early and to break camp cause everyone was quite tired.
it was a gd thing!:D hahaha.
after went home.
went to my aunt's house to teach my cousin some maths question regarding median of grouped data.
and i always use try and error for this kind of Q so i didnt really know how to teach her the proper method.
super fail!
anyone know the method?
homed, watch a bit of tv, then out to yishun to meet shawn.

took a shuttle bus to some singapore orchid i dont know what club.
played pool.
he taught me how to play.
man, he's quite pro in it. really.
went back to northpoint and i insisted that he ate before gg back to camp.

he wanted swensens which had a long queue so i pushed him away. he decided on xingwang, hk.
he ordered so much food! mostly bread.
hahhah i insisted that he take away those food he couldnt finish too:p
and he ordered a si da tian wang mango snow ice.
hahah it was quite nice.

talked a bit, waited for him to finish.
he waited with me for zan at the taxi stand.
it was alr 10.25 and he had 5 mins to get back to camp and he wasnt gg to move!
i bet he bribed the ppl to let him in with the leftover xingwang food-.-

met zan and pris, talked a bit.
i guess i alr knew what was coming.
it was a mistake, i have to admit, it was.
and i still went ahead with it.. sighhhh.
i guess when no one really cares, you go for anyone tt will listen right?

there's still water in my right earD:

its alr march.
what have i done so far? ...

2010-03-11T21:33:00.002+08:00

so most must have heard of the jack neo scandal.
and i suppose there are contrasting views and opinions regarding this matter.
yes, it was wrong, tt's what we can all agree on.
but it's over.
he apologised, to the public, to everybody.
he will feel ashamed, tt's of course. its only right that he feels tt way.
but tt doesnt let the girls tt agreed to do sex off the hook.
it makes me wonder, do they even feel ashamed, splashing their photos and sex story publicly and making it known to everyone?
but what really makes me feel tt we ought to forgive and let go of the matter is that his wife forgave him.
you know how hard tt is.
you know how easy it is for celebraties to just divorce or break up.
but they pull through.
they will pull through.

hate the sin, love the sinner.
how much of that can we practice, singapore?

2010-03-10T21:31:00.002+08:00

sleep depriveddddd.
how?
lack of sleep is taking its toll on me.
down with flu yesterday, which is normal when i dont have enough sleep:S
sch's as usual.
i still cant say whether i really like ac.. just ok with it.

went to st hilda's today to sell coupons.
all the way at tampines!
and i only sold 10 bucks worth-.-
but at least i think we managed to spur some interest:)
and the train back home with classmates was super funny:D
leonard is extremely blur HAHHA.

anyway in the morning when i was gg to sch there was something v funny tt happened.
you know the mrt there's the yellow line to let the passengers alight first?
yup so a old man was queueing up behind the line.
than a malay lady cut the queue and stand right in front of where the passenger is supposed to walk out.
so the old man got angry and kind of said some stuff.
so the two grown ups started shouting in the train

malay lady: not happy ah?!
old man: yah lah not happy. next time i take photo ah!
malay lady: take lah take lah! you so kaisu for what! want to rush in the train.
(this is the weird part. the malay lady was the one who cut the queue all the way to the front.)
so later the old man started gumbling to some person beside him and the malay lady was most prob complaining on the phone.
and so they shouted at each other again. this time it was started by the malay lady.
and the weirdest thing was that she blamed the old man for starting it when she was the one who started shouting first again.
it came to a point when the arguing got to this:

malay lady: you shut up lah
old man: you shut up!
malay lady: no you shut up!
old man: no you shut up!
malay lady: you!
old man: you!
malay lady:you!
old man: you!

honestly, it was the stupidest way of arguing i've ever heard in public. and ppl were stifling their laughter, not tt the disagreement was funny, but they way two grown ups were arguing like that was stupidly funny.
i think they just embarrassed themselves instead-.-

gg back to psch to help out on sat and sun for their camp.
hope i'll be of some help!

i should be studying.
need a new phone
need chinese electronic dictionary!
DD:

do you know what you got into?

2010-02-27T10:16:00.002+08:00

sch barely started and i'm alr feeling the heat.
its like a never ending amnt of things to do!
and i havent been sleeping alot too.
i bought my 45 bucks econs textbk but i've yet to read it.
i have tutorials and lectures to do/revise.
plus i havent been really active in sch which bothers me abit.

some lectures are so boring and i really hate to feel sleepy during lectures.
it just puts me off tt i missed a whole chunk of lesson and now i must revise to catch up>:/

went for cell yesterday and its the first time to cell grp leader's house.
hahha, at least it made me feel better after cell cause i was being grumpy as usual.
after swimming i took the mrt to braddel.
you know the lighted thing the new mrt has? the one tt shows which stop next and which side the door would be opening?
its super crappy. i was stand sleeping at one corner and since my ear is blocked, with water, i couldnt really hear the annoucement.
the lighted thing was one stop late. so i alighted when it was flashing braddel but it was at bishan>:/
took the train back and due to my gd sense of direction, i found myself the correct block:D

anyway, the water's really getting on my nerves. i can hardly hear clearly.
all i hear are echos.
the water in my left ear has been there for 3 days. partly because i had training on thurs and fri.
but now two sides are blocked.
usually it comes out at night.
but this time it decided to camp in my ear and TRUST ME, i've tried alot of methods possible.
which includes holding your nose and blowing out, blowing in my ear, using a cotton bud, jumping on one side etcetc.
like i wasnt deaf enough!

so life's been super busy and still is very busy.
i'm trying my best to squeeze time out for meeting ppl.
i got to and i want to.

on wed i got to know of something tt was absolutely crazy and ridiculously stupid.
it made me a little .. irritated.
its so irritating and stupid. arggggh.
if looks can kill, you'll be died by now.
i know i should try to forgive.
why must you make it so hard?
and stop spreading your useless wishful thinking.

i just got myself angry for no reason.
sigh nvm, need to study>:(

lies are soon exposed

2010-02-20T11:38:00.002+08:00

bbq yesterday at ecp with cell/zone.
i enjoy fanning the charcoal:D but partly because i had nth else to do anyway.
i like to see it turn red than white and see the heat spread to the black parts:D
but i hate it when there's too much smoke and the smoke gets to my eyesD:
other than tt, the heat was good:)
smelt of bbq when i left, shiqi said so hahah.
i thought i smelt like sausages.
didnt eat much but hahah its ok.
reached home arnd 12 and i was super tired0.0

had my first training yesterday.
unfortunately, i felt bored:p
i wish we could learn faster!
i want to learn butterfly! which he will be teaching us:D
hahah but at least the teacher was nice:)
i was very amused by the waterproof video which is ultra cool!

sch's been acceptable.
pace is fast, lessons are getting tougher.
the tutorials are crazy and man, i dare say tt its alr starting to pile up.
although it seems like i just came into jc,
its been nearly a month? and pls, i have econs test next wkD:
whatever happened to honeymoon first yr?!

my classmates think i'm some mugger because i study in the library and do my tutorials.
tt's not it.. i just dont wish to waste my two yrs here.
and finishing up my work will give me more time after sch, which i desperately need.
not forgetting, i want to sleep early! i dont wish to sleep in lectures..
it doesnt mean i'm anti social!

on friday i met yishang kanice dian baohui at the void deck.
hahha i felt so much more at ease with them than with my classmates.
its like i can be myself!
although i havent spoke to them in prob yrs, it was a great feeling!
we all concluded that it was a crescentian thing tt prob only we could understand:)
and i folded my first star that day!
folded it for rachel, my long lost gf eh? HAHHA.
they were super funny. after sch i met them at the bleaches again.
and it was like a 2G1 gathering again!
yishang, dian, baohui, kanice, eudea, yinhui, me, and the extra g3er, faleee HAHAHHA.
yinhui was calling bibi and baba. baohui went bibi in the extra flirty voice! wah super funny!

split up after tt, went to queensway shopping complex to get falee her swim suit and googles for swimming later.
hahha was looking at shoes too and sighhh, i want new shoesD:
but nvm, i rather buy my econs textbk with tt money:)
i want to get my textbk badly! i need to read it soonD:

i owe alot of ppl their bdaysD:
and i want to meet up with alot of ppl!DD:

was supposed to give tuition this morn but i woke up lateD:
postponed it to tmr morn because i wanted to go swimming with zan and val but in the end zan couldnt make it.
so i boarded the train to jurong east and back to cck.
tmr morn i have to give two tuitions! sci and maths):
well, at least it gives me some spare cash..
after service today i'm gg to my uncle's house at tampines!
i hope they have their treasure box this yr!
every yr my aunt will fill a cool box of jelly and ice:D
so the kids can take and eat hahah, its something i look forward to:)

tmr my relatives are coming over. so need to pack my stuff and do my work up too.
i hope they dont come so early! i really dont like to entertainD:
i want to watch movies but movies are so ex nowadaysDD:
spending 10 bucks and my heart would break.
i can buy 1/4 of my econs textbk with tt!

thurs i went for cell and it was fun hahah.
met zan earlier and we walked arnd.
tt's gd cause i think i ought to spend more time with my friends:)
its one of my goals i hope i can achieve!
we walked past the cinema and made an impulsive decision to buy popcorns:D
hahha it was super random but yah, i love popcorns:D

i've typed alot! hahah. prob because i nv blogged for long..
i miss monteiro!
random but true!
although we werent in the same class in sec3 and 4, i knew she was still the same.
i knew tt if i shouted hi over the hall waving like mad she would do the same with much more enthusiasm:)
its very unlike my friends here in ac but well, i'm hoping for the best:)

i should go off soon. i shouldnt let myself be carried away and start typing nonsense like how we shouldnt be too nice and someone ought to speak up instead of letting it continue to happen. or start complaining abt how i cant stand some ppl and they really get to my nerves with their words and i wish history wont repeat etc.
hahha.

the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

i got my head up in the coluds

2010-02-17T21:43:00.003+08:00

chinese new year can be considered over for me.
visitings are nearlyyy done.
well, this yr's the same as any other yr.
but well its the only 2 times i see my cousins.
cny and christmas hahha.

i ought to put the past behind
its time to go full steam ahead.
i have alot in mind that i which to achieve.
i know some ppl will just laugh but yah..
God be the glory!

had og outing on tues and it was super fun
went bowling. i had my first bowling game ever!!:D
at first it went well, during the first game.
but after tt it was drain all the way HAHAH.
but wtv, i had alot of fun:D
and it was a super feeling to be with my og again!
if only og was our classDD:
we wanted to play laser quest too but unfortunately the next game was only at 8DDD:

this year my mum did yushen again.
hahha my bro's gf came to help.
and i was helping out too!
i like to eat yushen hahah. esp the cracker. i usually aim for the cracker:p
i dont see what so nice abt all the abalone thingy and sharks fin wtv.
abalone actually doesnt taste tt nice. but its the price that makes you need to feel tt it taste gd.
self deception.

ppl talk abt having no favouritism.
then how does love come abt?
is it really possible, for humans, to love every single one? only then does favouritism doesnt exist, not?

if its impt to you, its impt to God.
why dont you speak and ask him?

go beyond religion

2010-02-11T16:28:00.002+08:00

today's super funny.
we had lectures and all, as usual.
i enjoyed econs and maths:D haha
econs is like human geog/a little common sense. and i like to see how the business ppl actually think so far!
maths is cool and fun. hahha challenging, but i like it tt way:)

after lectures we had some personality test called MBTI.
the speaker was funny so i didnt sleep although i was sleepy.
another reason why i didnt sleep was because we have to pay 17 plus to attend it (although we didnt get a choice)
hahha so guess what's my personality!

extroversion vs introverion
sensing vs intuition
thinking vs feeling
judging vs perceiving
hahah guess!

i had yong tau fu for lunch. hahah believe it or not, its my first time eating such.
we got to choose what we wanted. like picking your own food.
hahha i choose a fishcake in the shape of a fish!
HAHHA i didnt even know what it was but i took it cause it was cute:D
hahha it turned out to be FISHCAKE. HAHAHHA.
so i was telling ferica tt if i take only the fish shaped fishcake and order with soup,
i can have a aquarium for lunch!!:DD HAHHA SUPER FUNNNIEEE

jokes aside, i'm thirsty.
hahha i feel like having lime juice(:
tmr's zanita's birthday! HAHAH.
ahhh well. getting olddd.

endless needs

2010-02-10T18:37:00.002+08:00

so lectures started and yup, hanging out more with my class now.
class is nice, generally:)
i didnt sleep for any lecture today:D be proud of me
and i finally tried the omelette rice everybody's been eating.
its actually not too bad:D

helping my psch teacher with some stuff so i went back after the mentorship briefing
the teachers were super nice ahhaha.
they bought my tickets:D
so generous:D

oh oh yah, if any one wants fun o rama tickets, pls buy from me!

trained to crescent with glenda and geraldine.
hahha they are super clowns:p
went to the new council room
and also crashed the exco interviews.
i'm sleepy nowww.

i decided tt i should try to stop whining abt swimming.
if not will seem very desperate:p
and its not a gd thing when you have national swimmers in your class?!
so i shall try to shut up abt it:X

shall end off with a verse for ppl like me:p
phil 4:6
"be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God"

how come we dont say i love you enough?

2010-02-05T23:27:00.002+08:00

acjc's campfire was held in the hall, with no fire at all hahha.
but it was quite fun and funny.
the last part of it was a little highhh
it was free dancing mode and everybody was gg crazy, even the guys!
i didnt expect it, prob because i come from a girls sch and i've only seen girls go wild:p
i'll admit, it was pretty weird seeing enthusiastic guys dance. and boy, they dance really well:p
other than tt, these few days have been quite boring.
no games, just talks and more talks in which i sharpened my skill of sit-sleeping:D
its really sleep inducing, wonder how i'm gg to survive lectures!
lessons are starting proper next wk and we're getting our class on mon too.
i want to study harddd.
want to do wellDD:

on the lighter note, wilson is passing me his calculator so he helped me save 180 bucks:D
yayyy:D
everything's so expensive these days.
and we have to buy notes and all.
and pls, the food in the canteen is just a rip off. and its not THAT nice.
hahha but i guess everyone needs to survive? and i bet those staff holders dont have it any easier too.

i want to get into waterpoloDD:
for once, i actually want to go for training. i want training to start!
in crescent i enjoyed training too. but mostly i trained because i had to and i didnt want to miss out.
but now i really want to train and i'm excited for it!:D

my dad fetched me home today.
and i realised tt SP is near to AC!:D
hahah cynthia! tt's gd news!:DD
SP has many canteens so you can bring me to eat! since i dont really like AC's canteen.
ohoh and you have to invite me to the pool too:D
hahha sounds gd:D

went out with lisa cynthia val to jp.
ate at bk.
it was a nicenice feeling to be hanging out with them again.
although we all are in different schs, i guess the bond was still there
i truly enjoyed my time spent. even teasing them and what not haha. we should meet up more often!

i need my sleep..
zzz

2010-02-02T20:29:00.003+08:00

all the ac games are super dirty!
we had our first day of games today and it was the whole day in the hothot sun
super red now.. hahah, it wont last long anyway:p
so we had this mud game in which we were supposed to crawl through a mud puddle tt is really really muddy i would call it a mini mud pool. so we had mud everywhere HAHA
and there were duckduckgoose game using water!
and one game in which the canvas was filled with squashed carrots which really stinked:( and i had to put my nose on it! hahaha.
but at least we didnt lose tt game cause the loser team had to roll over it:p
yesterday's game was worse in which the loser team had to roll on papaya and oranges and watermelon skins which really stinked. esp the papaya!

and since alot of the games we had to get dirty, we mostly walked barefooted. and with the terrible hot weather(!) the floor was freakingggg burning hot!
it reminds me of canoeing when clara burned her foot by stepping on the platform.

i feel sad for those whose money got stolen!DD:
i feel super blessed tt my wallet was shifted.. wahhh plus i was carrying so much moneyo.0
scaryy..
even if you're in desperate need of cash, this is definitely not the way to do it..

other than tt, i would say tt i'm enjoying myself:)
or at least i know i wont regret any experience:p

update soon

breakthrough.

2010-01-29T21:52:00.004+08:00

i hope i've made the right choice, no looking back now
hahha, i want to join waterpolo in ac
but it seems like none of the sc ppl know of a girls waterpolo team
ahhh please let there be a waterpolo girls team arnd!!

orientation have been ok..
the ppl are really high. hahha, esp on the first day!
the ogls totally rocked the hall hahah
other than tt, i've been very sleepyD:
ahhh my bad virus is still sticking to me! i feel sleepy all dayyyyDD:

my OG's quite cool, have a TRUE/REAL part thai and a vietnamese guyhahah.
and the cooler part is their name! win and long respectively haha.
made some new friends too that are seriously funny.
hahah she likes dora the explorer hahah! didnt think tt was possible!
our OGLs quite cool too. one canoeist, one choir and the last one really enthu and loud guy hahah
they've been teaching us so many cheers i cant remember it and the dance is hahaha.. i'm really not gd at dance:p

we had some introductory lectures today on different subs
i only attended the gp and ki one.
hahha i think ki is very interesting!! i would join it if not for my lousy engD:

so i was wondering, would you read my post and think i changed?
is it really the culture's tt affecting me? or you thinking tt the culture will affect me tt is causing you to jump to such conclusions?
ac or nj or wherever it is, i'm just gg to do my best.
press on press on press on.
have to be more sensitiveee!

dont pass me by just yet.

when goliath shows up, will you be ready?

2010-01-27T15:18:00.002+08:00

i've decided not to appeal.
pris makes sense. she said God isnt a sadist.
i dont want to be miserable for 2 yrs.
i'm really sorry to nj's team.. i really appreciate all the help they are offering me.
and they have been very supportive, including the alumni grp and esp the teachers.
i'm sincerely sorry.

so in ac now, i'll have more time fro everything.
concentrate on my studies more.
and make my two yrs fruitful! as fruitful as possible!
i'm gg to reach out my hand to all who is willing:DD
yayyyyy:D
plus! i'll get to meet others more often:DDD
i will be able to press on!

haha i want to join ac waterpolo~
yeshhhh:DDD

i'm reminded of something i learnt in syfc.
only 3 things will last.
God's Word, your spirit, and things you do in God.
only this 3, nth else.

got to keep focused.

creation always speaks, yet never says a word.

2010-01-26T11:36:00.003+08:00

posting's out tmr!
excited? i guess for me its a super mixed feeling.
after all, i still cant decide..

nj's training yesterday was tiring:/
i dont have my stamina anymore hahah.
which is bad because i'm the lousiest in the team!
but at least i know it can get any worse and the only possible thing tt can happen now is that i improve:)
self comforting!

so i have water training again laterD:
they are having time trialDD:
so demoralizingDDD:

ok tt aside, i received the new ODJ:D
so here's something i read that i like:D
"earth's crammed with heaven. and every common bush afire with God. but only he who sees take off his shoes. the rest sit around it and pluck blackberries."
hahah so true..

i need to stop resisting.
arg, help me.

can you handle what i'm about to do?

2010-01-25T09:22:00.003+08:00

whoosh, 3 wks is over and i graduated from project serve!!:D
hahha it was quite an experience, those 3wks.
apart from the early mornings, it was relatively ok and i did learn quite a bit:)
although the culture is different from tt of chc, afterall, we're still serving the same God, so who cares!:D
graduation was better than i expected it to be.
wilson was lucky enough to get a piece of coloured paper stuck under his chair so he had to go out for a game
in which he won! HAHAH. oreo for you!
after tt we went fro lunch at xingwang taiwan.
wilson and jh were being super childish-.- but it's still amusing, nonetheless.
nothing beats watching grown ups debating about the stupidest stuff like GERMMMSS~ HAHAH
service was good. think i was tired beat from the overnight prayer meeting.
i closed my eyes w/o even realising it:p guiltyguilty!

yesterday was a long day too.
went to help out at JAMS church, which really left me feeling extremely blessed.
i'll admit i'm not used to it. and you cant underestimate their understanding. it shot knifes into my heart.
didnt do much, but i'm glad i was of some help.

went to tiong and walked while waiting for peer tutoring to start.
i admit was i spent alot of time in the comics shop,looking at the posters and stuff HAHAH
cynthia's influence! HAHHA
so did one hour of amaths which was quite fun:)
i was worried tt i would forget how to do the sums so i said i prayer before tt
God answered:)
after tt i indulged in oreo coffee, cynthia's stupid influence again>:( HAHAH
made my way to wilson's 21st bday party hahha.

went for nj's morn training again. it wasnt so bad but just as bad.
i was the slowest to complete everything:(
hahha but ok here's the funny thing, we had to do push ups and i was wondering like how can i be the slowest?
so i looked arnd and realised tt some of them just bend the elbow a little and count it as one.
hahha so from then on i followed! but i was still the last-.- they really bend their elbows really fast!

ok here's some random stuff.
just abt a wk ago i switched on the modem for the interent and my bro woke up instantly. i just tried it again, it doesnt work:(
i saw a person on the mrt carrying a black book. due to 3 wks of intensive trainings, the first thing tt came to my mind was "CULT". i laughed when i saw "2010" written on the cover hahah.
i like to eat the korean rice pancake! the one that is cheap and doesnt cost much to buy:D

tt's abt all for now. have training later at 4!
i've learnt to surrender instead of resist.
posting's gg to be out soon!

to die is gain.

2010-01-19T21:55:00.002+08:00

today's session was super!
it was talking abt discipleship. and the speaker was super funny:DDD
hahah she told us not to be "chicken nugget" christians.
because we always complain 我有这个，那个。这个那个，这个那个。which when said fast, sounds like chicken nuggets HAHAHHA
but i guess tt applies to me.
like during my time in crescent i had so much on hand i was always complaining.
but i guess its time to thank God for the opportunity He has given me tt i can show through all tt i have on hand.
and she talked abt how relationships can be likened with forks&spoons and chopsticks.
both come in pairs. but for a chopstick, if one is taken away, you cant eat anything, except for prob fishball and siewmai.
and chopsticks are exactly indentical.
whereas for forks&spoon you can do w/o one. and its not exactly indentical although its purpose is the same. to feed its user.
so our relationship with God is like chopsticks. where we cant do without Him.
i think its a gd analogy, quite unlike cynthia's weird analogies hahha

and she said another analogy tt i really like.
she was explaining the theory tt in the past, ppl had to forsake everything first before following Christ.
but now ppl are following Christ first, than slowly forsaking themselves.
she she said it was like carrying a heavy bag to go rock climbing.
halfway you'll get tired. and someone shouts from below to throw down your stuff.
you throw your lunch box, your water bottle, no big deal abt tt.
you climb some more. you cant go on, the load is too heavy.
again, you're asked to throw down your stuff.
it will be then tt you'll realise tt you cant get urself to throw down the laptop you've been carrying i your bag.
i think she was spot on abt this. many of us face this prob because when we first received Christ, we werent ready to forsake ourselves.
we have to be like peter. when he saw how big, not literally, God was, he realised how small his boat and nets were(which was prob his everything, his life, his money, everything) than, you'll realise howmuch more impt it is to pursue God than other things of the world.

so anyway, played badminton yesterday with loi lisa val cynthia esme and it was super:D
val and i ate bread for lunch and i just rekindled my love for coffee bread:D hahah not really but the bread was nice:D or prob i was just hungry:/
went to lisa's house. bathed. her house is super neat. i love her com! its apple, its big, it loads fast. and i like its keyboard!!
played the piano and guitar. lisa managed to help me in finding the left hand keys of a song i'm so happy:D
heard her play the violin too, she's really musically inclined although she denies it sometimes:p
stayed for dinner with esme. her parents are super welcoming:p

oh did i mention abt sunday? went to play basketball with val and cynthia.
rained halfway so we went up to val's house.
after tt i had a splendid idea to crash lisa's house:D
cynthia faked a call to lisa to make sure she's home, in which cynthia took the liberty of suaning me(!)
hahha crashed her house:D i guess i would say tt she was pleasantly surprised? HAHHA

did contact work today at clementi.
met this grp of nice girls haha. i think these ppl are more friendly compared to those students tt are more academically inclined.
i guess tt's the not so gd part of coming from a better sch
you tend to end up looking down on others and thus being not so friendly or you think too much and become suspicious of practically everything.
even i am guilty of thinking of myself as more superior than others. something i need to change.

gg for nj's training tmr morn.
hope all will go fine:/
i'm reallyreally super unfit now:(

be ready for the new wine skin.

2010-01-17T11:35:00.000+08:00

i told you humans were screwed.
i was sure things would happen again and it did.
like in the bible, all the mistakes ppl made in the past, we still carry on with it.
yah and too bad i'm part of the human race too..
its irritating when i know i'm still making the same mistakes.

anyway, yesterday's sermon was good:D hahah
cynthia came along and i'm glad she did:D
after tt went for dinner with cell and cityhall and mrt-ed back.

i cant wait for later!
basketball with the rest!!:DD super exciting:D

its time to bridge the gap i've been avoiding.
i just realised tt i've been praying about it, but when the question is posed at me if i can receive the possibilities of my prayer, i realise by some chance, my answer may be a no.

not looking forward to jc..

dont waste your life

2010-01-15T20:59:00.000+08:00

so as you can read from the title of this post, DONT WASTE YOUR LIFE!
ahhh its such a gd bk. i dont know how to bring this across but i hate reading it, but its a gd bk, nonetheless!
it writes abt things tt we nv thought of, which makes it more interesting, and difficult to understand.
but its super cool! although you prob have to read it twice to get it.
here's a quote from CSLEWIS. you know, the loard of the rings guy..

you cant go on "seeing through" things forever. the whole point of seeing through something is to see something through it. it is good that the window should be transparent, because the street or garden beyond is opaque. how if you saw through the garden too? it is no use trying to "see through" first principles. if you see through everything, then everything is transparent. but a wholly transparent world is an invisible world. to "see through" all things is the same as not to see.

sighhh:)

so anyway, yesterday's cell grp was gd.
it definitely managed to lift my moods:D
i bet some ppl think tt mohammad ali is from the koran too!

on the way back i prayed. and well, nj stuck.
so i went home, read some admin stuff, prepared myself and sent in the application.
i dont want to think about how to survive.
by faith, God will help me through nj's lifestyle.
by faith.

special thanks to cynthia who encouraged me lots by telling me tt God will put me in a place He wanted me to go, although she didnt believe in God. but still, i'm touched and it made me feel much better:)

well, so tt's abt it.
i'm addicted to bubble tea againD:
its the stupid crazeDD:
i blame everyone but myselfDDD:
hahhah, green apple green tea with green apple jelly is the bestttt:D

human is a screwed race. really.
sometimes when i see the faults of human, even in myself, i wonder why God even bothers.
then i'm reminded of His great love.
i guess tt explains it, doesnt it?

are we seeking an echo or revelation?

2010-01-13T17:35:00.000+08:00

today was eventful.
as usual, it was syfc in the morning.
we had consolidation of the sermon we heard on mon
learnt abt knocking down the wall of hostility and changing from an old being to a new self.
helped to staple PEG bks which was super cool cause they had these book binding tool HAHAH.

went to nj and ac open house.
it was weird, i left both feeling disappointed.
i'm considering poly now:/

i cant wait for mon's goodminton with the rest!!
have tuition later with milly and sarah. maths. for 2 hoursD:
not appealing but no choice.

"how can i make a gd decision?"
the bible sets a boundary rather than just marks out a route
have a strong sense of "if the Lord permits.."
in asking others, are we seeking an echo or revelation?
when we seek to glorify God, we should be more concerned abt reflecting his character-thus, it is not necessary tt only in successes is God glorified, instead He is best seen in how we handle failures and difficulties.

makes sense?

is it wise?

2010-01-12T21:53:00.000+08:00

helpp
ahhh i wish i didnt feel this way.
i wish somehow the bible consist of secret pages that tell us what decisions to make.
or signs that spell NJC or ACJC.

anyway, i thought today's decision making course was really good.
for a moment, it placed nj out of my thoughts.
i realised the reason i was habouring the thought of nj was because stupid reasons.

after the walk with airika in which she shared abt the ac culture which sounded so nice,
all of a sudden nj came back to my mind and got stuck.
it was as if i felt, ac's alr gd enough, there's somthing i can do in nj.
and its such a weird thought and arggggh
i like ac and i really dont mind but there is nj, stuck, refusing to leave!
after i mentioned so many negative stuff abt nj, why am i still considering nj?! ARGH>:(

but anyway, thoughts aside, went for a PEG meeting.
it was quite fun since i made new friends and thought a little amaths.
i hope they contact me soon!

i'm sleepy sighhh.

oh anyway, thanks to amelia who helped me put up my tagboard!:D
IT noob, still. i see crescent didnt change me THAT much after all hahah

is it loving
is it right
is it wise?

2010-01-11T20:21:00.000+08:00

all praise goes to God.
i thank Him for my results. i thank Him for being there with me throughout all my papers. i thank Him for helping me through difficult questions. i thank Him for calming me down, allowing me to think carefully.
i thank my fellow mates tt kept me in constant prayer, smsing me to encourage me every morn.
i thank my classmates tt stood by me.
i thank my friends tt believed in me.
thank God for my results, its really more than i can ask for.

so now i'm torn btw a few schs. 2 schs in particular.
show me the way!

i guess for some ppl i sound a little crazy. but well, if you know me well enough, you'll know tt my studies isnt this good and i really relied on Jesus for help alot throughout tt period of time.
so now tt i'm given this results, put me in a sch of Your choice!

gd or bad, i believe your results are given to you on the basis tt it will put you to the sch you're supposed to go.

anyway, we gave out the cookies and sheeps today. i'm really glad cause ppl liked it, or at least they seemed like they liked it. thank my fellow friends valencia and zanita!
plus, many said tt the cookies were nice hahha, although it was salty and sweet at the same time.

went back to psch with eunice. met up with ms tan and mrs seow.
the guard wouldnt let us in until the teachers came to fetch us.
poor sec1 ex students were still standing by the gate hahah
speaking to them like this, as a friend, makes me feel as if we're all moving too fast..

just marked milly and sarah's maths homewk.
i wonder if i was tt messy last time. poor teachers.

2010-01-10T21:57:00.000+08:00

short post before i go, have stuff to do.
today was pretty fun.
went all the way to punggol to val's grandma's house for cookie baking which went well:)
its the first time i baked, or helped to bake, and things go fine so i'm pretty glad about it:D
val's grandma was really nice and helpful, i still feel guilty for troubling her.
i guess the best gift i can give her is that i'll give her prayers and pray tt God bless her household.
cookies were sweet and salty, funny but nice combination:)
after tt we went back to cutting sheeps and reading notes.
sleep inducing but sense of accomplishment is high.

so tmr is the day o's are out.
really wonder how it'll go.
whatever it is, i thank God for the results. good or bad, the results will get me into the sch He wants me to go so i'll thank Him for it.

i've been reading this bk, "the sunday philosophy club". really good bk, highly recommended. its very interesting:)
other than tt, i'm off to write more sheeps:D

2010-01-09T22:28:00.000+08:00

wow, its been so long.
so, after much determination, i decided a simple blog should do the trick.
after all, i've been contemplating this for quite some time.

i cant possibly blog about everything tt happened within the time my blog died,
so i'll start from last mon:)

hols have been quite slacky for me, no work so far (except for one or two tuitions)
ended up in a 3 wk course thingy with syfc.
hahha i bet everyone would think singapore youth flying club, like i did but no, its singapore youth for christ:)

on monday zanita val and i attended this 3 days 2 nights camp.
although i really dont like camps, it was relatively ok:D
we watch this cool jap movie called accuracy of death, which talks about this guy, a grim reaper, choosing to proccede with a death or to suspend it. so this guy spends a wk with the person and decides. we were told to think about life during the movie hahah. well, since they put tt idea in my head, yes, i was thinking about life.
i think tt the grim reaper did his job relatively well. and it made me remember what someone said. what would you do if today's your last day? usually if you know beforehand tt you wont live long you'll prob drop everything and do all the things tt you've always wanted to do. prob like gg to a beach or something. and if you're a student, you'll prob drop out of sch. but i guess if i was posed with tt question, i would rather live normally and meaningfully like how i would every other day. doesnt tt make more sense?
so one question tt was frequently asked in the movie was "what do you think about death?"

ok so moving on, we played fun games and of course, the highlight game THE JOURNEY.
we had a short geog lesson before the game to equip us with necessary skills for map reading. i was amazed by the functions of the compass:D
the game was held in sentosa and it started around 9 plus and ended at 4am

ok anyway, details for another day. its getting late and i'm gg off to do my qt hahah
tmr will be a long day, meeting yamin for maths and meeting val and zan.

till we meet again